Wow, Allyson. That's incredibly difficult and a complete horror show of a situation.
Thank god for your parents, and for you to provide stability.
You must be so stressed and sad and worried.
Yes. Men like sports. Men watch the action movie, they eat of the beef, and enjoy to look at the bosoms. A thousand years of avenging our wrongs and that's all you've learned?
Xander ,'End of Days'
Natter 76: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Foaminess
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, butt kicking, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
DavidS - May 05, 2019 9:42:43 pm PDT #7494 of 30019
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."
Allyson - May 05, 2019 10:01:15 pm PDT #7495 of 30019
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica
There was supposed to be a trial in June to determine if my brother and/or his GF are fit to be parents. But then the GF fired her court appointed lawyer. So that's been delayed until the end of July. I was going to go home for the trial, and I was looking forward to spending time with the baby.
My brother periodically sends me shitty texts blaming DCF for everything that has happened. His GF is convinced she's getting the baby back, and threatens to take the baby far away from us so we'll never see her again.
I've been preparing to adopt her. I love her so much. It's scary, and I have five million doubts a day. I'm worried about so many things, and also excited to be a parent and make her breakfast and walk her to school and and make messes in the garden.
Seeing a family therapist with experience in DCF and child development, reading a lot of books, researching daycare and local schools. It's all I can do right now until the trial. Just try and prepare as much as possible.
So that's the short of it.
Shir - May 05, 2019 10:20:55 pm PDT #7496 of 30019
"And that's why God Almighty gave us fire insurance and the public defender".
Dear lords, Allyson. This is so much, and I am so sorry you and your family are going through this. And in all of this mess, it's really great that your niece has you and your parents fighting for her and her well being.
Theodosia - May 06, 2019 12:33:07 am PDT #7497 of 30019
'we all walk this earth feeling we are frauds. The trick is to be grateful and hope the caper doesn't end any time soon"
FWIW, friends of mine adopted their nephew from a mentally-ill sister under somewhat similar circumstances about ten years ago (no tazing that I know of, but including the mother blowing through several attorneys when they each advised her she didn't have a legal leg to stand on).
And after years of therapy, the sister's come to accept that her kid is thriving and happy where he is, and that she can have an auntly noncustodial relationship with him that is healthy for the both of them. It can happen, my friend's extended family survived to be whole again, and most of all the kid is entering teenagerhood with with only the normal amount of stress to contend with.
You're probably even more competent than my friends put together, so I totally believe you can pull this off.
sj - May 06, 2019 2:38:04 am PDT #7498 of 30019
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."
Allyson, you're a wonderful person, and truly every parent has 5 million doubts a day. You're niece would be lucky to have you. I'm so sorry for everything your family is going through. If you need anything at all when you're visiting, give me a shout.
-t - May 06, 2019 3:23:23 am PDT #7499 of 30019
I am a woman of various inclinations and only some of the time are they to burn everything down in frustration
Oh, Allyson. So much love to you and your niece.
Laura - May 06, 2019 3:30:21 am PDT #7500 of 30019
Our wings are not tired.
Allyson, first, what sj said about parental doubts. Also, I'm sorry this is such a horrible and stressful experience for your family. Your niece is fortunate to have such support and you will do a great job. Love and hugs.
msbelle - May 06, 2019 4:41:21 am PDT #7501 of 30019
I remember the crazy days. 500 posts an hour. Nubmer! Natgbsb
I am here to talk to you for the next 18 years about parental doubts. My messed up headspace, let me share it with you.
I believe in you and know that you will fight fiercely for your niece and love her completely. That is A LOT.
Topic!Cindy - May 06, 2019 4:45:53 am PDT #7502 of 30019
What is even happening?
Love to you and yours, Allyson. I have a family member who adopted a sibling's child in similar circumstances. Wishing you all the best.
WindSparrow - May 06, 2019 4:49:27 am PDT #7503 of 30019
Love is stronger than death and harder than sorrow. Those who practice it are fierce like the light of stars traveling eons to pierce the night.
To all the Buffistas experiencing family stress - msbelle, Gud, Allyson, Jesse, Laura, and others - may you each have some moments of the kind of peace I have right now with Harvey just sleeping on my chest. Just a little respite, a little heaven, a time to simply love and be loved without having to strive for anything else.