Oh, Sophia, your poor friend! I hope she is truly rid of him.

Me too! I just get nervous he can screw things up because she and her extended family are so legal and moral and upstanding, and think fairness will always win out, and I am afraid he can make a case that she needs to give him money to live on. I am not sure he is that smart, but I think it is an argument that could be made by a good legal team.

She has removed him from the car insurance and the electricity, but cant remove him from the health insurance. She has redone her will. She can't remove him from cable because he set that up, but the company recommended just refusing to pay. She is not removing him from the mobile phone right now because she wants to be able to contact her. They have no other assets besides a 10 year old car. She thinks she doesn't need to pay his credit cards, but I am not sure. She is seeing an attorney Monday.

If he had deliberately stopped working to care for the children, or is disabled, he might have a case for some spousal support. But it doesn't sound like either of those things are the case. But I am sure the attorney will be able to speak more authoritatively.

She can remove him from the health insurance if she gets a legal separation before a divorce, but that still takes time.

Thank you. I think the reason he gave her for stoppage of work is that he thought work would make him drink again. But not a diagnosed inability to work. He went through rehab and did have a job in social media marketing before he was laid off

I think her fear is that he will become vindictive and nasty once it is clear to this new family that he is not actually working.

Sophia, if the credit cards are in both of their names (joint account), she should continue paying, otherwise it will ruin her credit. If he opened up the cards an only added her as an authorized user, then she can let them go. Joint account holders are equally responsible for paying the account, no matter who charged what.

That's great information, Maria. I do not think they are joint, so she might be OK

Another thing to consider: if she doesn't have any credit cards on her own, she should open them up now, before his credit goes down the tubes. She benefits from his credit profile as an authorized user; once it tanks, it will drag hers down until she's taken off of the accounts.

Besides, he could cut her off from the cards immediately, so she should have her own just in case.

Sophia, I'm glad that at least one of the kids is clear-eyed enough to see his dad realistically. It'll still be traumatic, but it will hopefully be less of a shaken foundations situation, and will hopefully be a "how not to be in human relationships" model.

Thanks. I am more worried about my god daughter because Aidan and my BFF and I slways seemed sympatico. She is in community college and living at home. My BFF says she has been really helpful these past few days. But my BFF is also so careful with her and thinks she can't live on her own, and I am like I am a super disaster mess, but I can actually live on my own and I think my niece can too!