If he had deliberately stopped working to care for the children, or is disabled, he might have a case for some spousal support. But it doesn't sound like either of those things are the case. But I am sure the attorney will be able to speak more authoritatively.

She can remove him from the health insurance if she gets a legal separation before a divorce, but that still takes time.

Thank you. I think the reason he gave her for stoppage of work is that he thought work would make him drink again. But not a diagnosed inability to work. He went through rehab and did have a job in social media marketing before he was laid off

I think her fear is that he will become vindictive and nasty once it is clear to this new family that he is not actually working.

Sophia, if the credit cards are in both of their names (joint account), she should continue paying, otherwise it will ruin her credit. If he opened up the cards an only added her as an authorized user, then she can let them go. Joint account holders are equally responsible for paying the account, no matter who charged what.

That's great information, Maria. I do not think they are joint, so she might be OK

Another thing to consider: if she doesn't have any credit cards on her own, she should open them up now, before his credit goes down the tubes. She benefits from his credit profile as an authorized user; once it tanks, it will drag hers down until she's taken off of the accounts.

Besides, he could cut her off from the cards immediately, so she should have her own just in case.

Sophia, I'm glad that at least one of the kids is clear-eyed enough to see his dad realistically. It'll still be traumatic, but it will hopefully be less of a shaken foundations situation, and will hopefully be a "how not to be in human relationships" model.

Thanks. I am more worried about my god daughter because Aidan and my BFF and I slways seemed sympatico. She is in community college and living at home. My BFF says she has been really helpful these past few days. But my BFF is also so careful with her and thinks she can't live on her own, and I am like I am a super disaster mess, but I can actually live on my own and I think my niece can too!

Oof, what a mess, Sophia. You're a good friend to worry about this stuff.

askye, I'm so sorry for your and your mom's loss.

Yikes Sophia, what a mess. Best of luck to your friend.

And askye, that's so hard, your poor mom.

I am trying to tell myself I have allergies and not a cold. I didn't sleep amazing last night, but was OK during brunch, and on the way home was suddenly like "My god why am I SO SLEEPY and also muzzy-headed". And also sniffly. I took some allergy meds, and met up with a friend for the afternoon, but went home and slept for several hours rather than making muffins which was my plan. BOOO. But I have managed to drag myself to Trader Joe's and am eating food. Really hoping I'll feel better tomorrow?? No cold, do not want cold!