My wife has been great about it. I think she senses how stressful this is for me and is laying off and helping out.

That is good to hear, Gud. You need family support when starting a new job more than ever.

I agree completely with Atropa. That isn't a normal response to a new employee. I don't get involved with the new development people because that is DH's area, but I often hear him say that it takes a good 3-6 months before the new hires are up to speed on the platform. It just isn't an instant thing.

In my field ( academics) we say a year to get up to speed.

I expect 3 to 6 months for new employees.

One of the hardest lessons that I've learned is that sometimes it's not ME who is failing, but the situational factors are failing in and of themselves. I'm inclined to take Responsibility, and sometimes I can pull a rabbit out of a hat ("You never know, the horse may learn to talk") but sometimes I am set up for failure because of managerial failure.

And a big Yay for Mrs. Gud!

You're a brand new employee. That is not an acceptable way to interact with ANY employee, but especially a new one. Ask them for written feedback. Ask them for HR documentation that states one failure is one step away from being fired. Go up the management food chain (in email, so you have documentation) asking if this is the management strategy of the company.

And no matter what answers you get, get the hell out of that job. They're not a good workplace environment.

Also, tell your wife that all of your attention and energy HAS to be focused on your work situation, and she needs to take care of everything around the house that you usually do. That this is not up for argument, this is what a supportive spouse needs to do.

Finally: YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE. YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON. All of us have your back, want the best for you, and a lot of us probably want to fly out to you and have some terse but polite confrontations with some people in your life.

Just repeating all of this.

Ask them for written feedback.

Well, it was written. It was in the team slack channel.

So, it was public? That's even more bullshit.

You had a bunch of interviews, didn't you? If this company is shitty to you, you don't have to stay there.

That just seems ridiculous, Gud. You haven't been there long enough to have a string of failures. You've barely been there long enough to know where the coffee is kept.

Did they hire you just to have someone to blame shit on?

ETA I'm glad to hear your wife is being supportive

I helped a friend cleaning out her mother's home (her childhood home) today. We had moved the mom to a retirement apartment a few miles away a few months ago. My friend is moving back into the house in June and will live there at least a year as she decides what to do as an empty-nester.

SO. MUCH. STUFF.

We took 6 bags to thrift. A full truck bed to the dump. And a full wheeled recycling container plus two bags to recycling. We were putting things on the curb we didn't think were worth keeping for a garage sale and were too big to take to thrift and they were disappearing throughout the day.

They still have 3 file cabinets to go through and lots of pictures.

Two of 3 brothers were there. One wants to throw away everything, not even separate out in anyway really. One wants to keep everything. The mom just wants to tell you the story of everything.

I am so thankful my mother is doing so much of this on her own right now. I am going to send her a text telling her that.