Steph, for what it may or may not be worth, it sounds like you at least have help now. It sounds like the nurse practitioner knows what she's doing. More important, it sounds like your father is developing some trust in her -- or at least giving her the benefit of the doubt for now.

So you could take care of yourself by celebrating a step in a good direction. I recommend ice cream.

(((STEPH)))

I don't think I need a new job, I just need to figure out how to get the info I need without getting fired. Most days things are fine.

I did have a brainstorm yesterday. As I get trained on more things that mean I can take little tasks from co-worker, I am going to try and position it so that I am taking more and more of the work that does not involve Big Boss.

I have already started down that path in moving things that were not electronically filed to e-files. I now can file things into the employee electronic files and thus can support the other departments without that access. That is a low-level task, but it is 100% Big Boss contact free and THOSE are the tasks I need to beef up on.

Steph, what is the possibility of hiring a part-time care person. Someone who could take some care of your dad? Does he need help cleaning his house? Cooking? Yard stuff?

When my mother retired, age 70, she and my sister moved into a house together. She was fine for a while, but her health declined and she became effectively blind and deaf (she had some vision and some hearing, but not much ... and couldn't keep her driver's license). Her mental abilities began declining and my sister hired someone to be with her during the day (while sister was working), drive her to doctor appointments, etc. So ... Steph, keep the live-in assistance person in mind as a possibility.

I was super-grumpy yesterday because I couldn't find something and I was afraid I'd lost it, and then this morning I had a brain wave of where I might have put it (spoiler: my purse, which of course I hardly use these days) and it was THERE!

Very glad I thought of this before we emptied the giant recycling container to search it.

I declare that people will have good days today.

I feel sure that Jilli has seen this, but just in case: [link]

Her mental abilities began declining and my sister hired someone to be with her during the day (while sister was working), drive her to doctor appointments, etc. So ... Steph, keep the live-in assistance person in mind as a possibility.

This. Hiring daytime care workers for my grandmother (not qualified nurses or anything, just retired ladies who could feed her meals and make sure her basic needs were met) is undoubtedly what kept my mom from imploding when she had her invalid mother and disabled husband to care for while holding down a full time job, with me in college and working every spare hour so I couldn't be much help.

Steph, what is the possibility of hiring a part-time care person. Someone who could take some care of your dad? Does he need help cleaning his house? Cooking? Yard stuff?

He lives in an apartment, so yard is not an issue. And his apartment is always clean (although that doesn't mean that assistance wouldn't be welcome, because of his chronic pain). And he still cooks -- in fact, when I went over there yesterday, he had a crockpot of chili going and he tried to send me home with some (though, in a hilarious coincidence, I have stuff to make chili this week, so I didn't take any of his chili).

I think a cleaning person, even once a month, might be a good idea. And I'm going to look into a patient advocate who can accompany him to doctor appointments after the hallucinations have (I hope) been dealt with.

Steph, what about somebody nearby him that can just look in on him every couple of days and see that he is okay? I'm sure there are plenty of people out of work right now would would be willing to do that for small fee? Lots of good thoughts headed your way. I'm sorry that all of this is so hard on you, and I'm glad the NP was so helpful.

I ordered breakfast delivery this morning, which seems ridiculously indulgent to me, but fuck 2020 so it was worth it. I had a bagel sandwich with an egg, avocado, cheese, and sausage and a soy chai latte.

Nothing wrong with indulging yourself.