Gud, of course you're a good person.

Maybe talking to someone will help you realize you are a good person.

if I'm at heart just not a good person

Well, that's a false premise. I struggle with that feeling as well, Gud, and I know our brains can be very persuasive, but it's not true.

Gud, stop telling lies about our friend. Gud is a good person, in fact, a very good person.

Gud, a bad person wouldn't care about others, or the way they feel. Bad people don't feel guilt (however misplaced) and don't feel upset that they've disappointed someone (even if that person's expectations are entirely selfish ). GOOD people feel those things. You're one of them. If therapy is too costly right now, there some free things online you could try. Or you could ask a priest or a minister to listen. You don't have to be alone in this.

Also, it's just too expensive right now.

1) you are a good person.

2) Caring for yourself needs to be prioritized.

Is anyone else contributing to the finances of your household? If not, why not.

I know we have asked before, and I am sorry if I do not remember the answer, but is mental health not covered by your insurance at all? No EAP? No tele-therapy through your insurance? (your post served as a reminder to me to schedule on-line therapy since I have not been to therapy since January and both my nail biting and lip biting are getting worse which is a giant sign of spiraling anxiety - so in the midst of typing this post I scheduled a session for next week - my insurance is now offering online visits for all types of Drs at $15 each).

The bottom line is that we have to be there for each other and support each other emotionally. David is correct in pointing out that you don't have the support you need and deserve. Loving partners don't get mad when we make mistakes, they are supportive and make every effort to help us feel better about ourselves. You don't make more mistakes than the rest of humanity, and you work harder than most of us! You deserve appreciation and support. I hope you can at least find that here, because I appreciate you, and I know we all do.

Listen to Laura for she is wise.

You are a really good person and I'm worried at how much blame you are heaping onto yourself.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way, Gud. I heartily disagree with the premise that you are not a good person. Everyone makes mistakes. Please don't beat yourself up too badly.

I feel so lucky to have security and less big problems at the moment but I also feel guilty (which is totally stupid). I know things are going to get a lot worse for a lot of people very fast and I don't know what to do.

Please, if anyone needs to reach out, drop me an email or whatever and I will do whatever I can to help.

Gud, you had a human lapse or two, and a couple of chores went undone. A bad person wouldn't feel all of the guilt you're dumping on yourself for that. A bad person would have seen nothing wrong or would have blamed someone else.

And it costs nothing to call a hotline. 1-800-273-TALK (8255). And from what you've said about your work, I assume an appointment with your GP and a prescription for medication would be covered by your insurance and only involve a co-pay. (And a lot of anti-depressants are available in generic form. Mine are.)

Several ADs are also available at Walmart for $4 per 30-day supply, or $10/90 days.