Gud, stop telling lies about our friend. Gud is a good person, in fact, a very good person.

Gud, a bad person wouldn't care about others, or the way they feel. Bad people don't feel guilt (however misplaced) and don't feel upset that they've disappointed someone (even if that person's expectations are entirely selfish ). GOOD people feel those things. You're one of them. If therapy is too costly right now, there some free things online you could try. Or you could ask a priest or a minister to listen. You don't have to be alone in this.

Also, it's just too expensive right now.

1) you are a good person.

2) Caring for yourself needs to be prioritized.

Is anyone else contributing to the finances of your household? If not, why not.

I know we have asked before, and I am sorry if I do not remember the answer, but is mental health not covered by your insurance at all? No EAP? No tele-therapy through your insurance? (your post served as a reminder to me to schedule on-line therapy since I have not been to therapy since January and both my nail biting and lip biting are getting worse which is a giant sign of spiraling anxiety - so in the midst of typing this post I scheduled a session for next week - my insurance is now offering online visits for all types of Drs at $15 each).

The bottom line is that we have to be there for each other and support each other emotionally. David is correct in pointing out that you don't have the support you need and deserve. Loving partners don't get mad when we make mistakes, they are supportive and make every effort to help us feel better about ourselves. You don't make more mistakes than the rest of humanity, and you work harder than most of us! You deserve appreciation and support. I hope you can at least find that here, because I appreciate you, and I know we all do.

Listen to Laura for she is wise.

You are a really good person and I'm worried at how much blame you are heaping onto yourself.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way, Gud. I heartily disagree with the premise that you are not a good person. Everyone makes mistakes. Please don't beat yourself up too badly.

I feel so lucky to have security and less big problems at the moment but I also feel guilty (which is totally stupid). I know things are going to get a lot worse for a lot of people very fast and I don't know what to do.

Please, if anyone needs to reach out, drop me an email or whatever and I will do whatever I can to help.

Gud, you had a human lapse or two, and a couple of chores went undone. A bad person wouldn't feel all of the guilt you're dumping on yourself for that. A bad person would have seen nothing wrong or would have blamed someone else.

And it costs nothing to call a hotline. 1-800-273-TALK (8255). And from what you've said about your work, I assume an appointment with your GP and a prescription for medication would be covered by your insurance and only involve a co-pay. (And a lot of anti-depressants are available in generic form. Mine are.)

Several ADs are also available at Walmart for $4 per 30-day supply, or $10/90 days.

Gud, you ARE a good person, and you deserve kindness, support, and people who care about you.

And it costs nothing to call a hotline. 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

I enthusiastically support you doing this.

Gud be as kind to yourself and give yourself as much benefit of the doubt as you would another person. You are worth it.

Gud, I encourage you to look at this page about what abuse can look like to see if it is familar — domestic abuse is not just physical abuse: [link]

If you are worried about your wife seeing you looking at this site, you can leave it quickly by hitting escape twice. Please consider chatting online via this site or calling their hotline: 1-800-799-7233.

Here's the section defining emotional abuse:

You may be in an emotionally/verbally abusive relationship if you partner exerts control through:

Calling you names, insulting you or continually criticizing you
Refusing to trust you and acting jealous or possessive
Trying to isolate you from family or friends
Monitoring where you go, who you call and who you spend time with
Demanding to know where you are every minute
Trapping you in your home or preventing you from leaving
Using weapons to threaten to hurt you
Punishing you by withholding affection
Threatening to hurt you, the children, your family or your pets
Damaging your property when they're angry (throwing objects, punching walls, kicking doors, etc.)
Humiliating you in any way
Blaming you for the abuse
Gaslighting
Accusing you of cheating and being often jealous of your outside relationships
Serially cheating on you and then blaming you for his or her behavior
Cheating on you intentionally to hurt you and then threatening to cheat again
Cheating to prove that they are more desired, worthy, etc. than you are
Attempting to control your appearance: what you wear, how much/little makeup you wear, etc.
Telling you that you will never find anyone better, or that you are lucky to be with a person like them

I'm also adding this link about the spectrum of relationships, from healthy to abusive. I think it's helpful to look at this list to see where your experience fits.