Can you maybe FaceTime or something, Zen?
I will join the all-pie diet if I can have eggnog too.
You're like my fairy godmother, and Santa Claus, and Q all wrapped up into one! Q from Bond, not Star Trek.
Buffy ,'Help'
Natter 76: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Foaminess
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, butt kicking, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
meara - Nov 20, 2018 1:03:21 pm PST #2277 of 30019
Laura - Nov 20, 2018 1:22:30 pm PST #2278 of 30019
Our wings are not tired.
Zen, I honestly believe you are better off remembering her healthy. It isn't likely that she is well enough to be comforted by seeing you and your loving memories will be overwritten with her current suffering. It is good to hear that she has a devoted caretaker in her husband, and yes he will be in really rough shape after. Maybe you can reach out to him and let him know you are there if he feels it will help her. And yeah, not having her die would be an really nice option. I am so sorry.
Zenkitty - Nov 20, 2018 1:27:51 pm PST #2279 of 30019
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.
Thank you, Laura. I have reached out to him but I doubt he'll ask me for anything. I do want to remember her healthy. Snarky, defiantly inappropriate, terrible sense of humor, covered in cats, always reading, filking, beading, reading. She had a life she liked, finally, and I wish she could have more of it.
Sheryl - Nov 20, 2018 1:29:27 pm PST #2280 of 30019
Fandom means never having to say "But where would I wear that?"
Timelies all!
I have achieved pie for Thanksgiving. Apple, because my MIL doesn't like pumpkin pie. Also, she keeps kosher, so I had to go to the kosher supermarket to find one that was kosher parve(neither meat nor dairy). Still, achievement unlocked.
Zenkitty - Nov 20, 2018 1:39:28 pm PST #2281 of 30019
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.
That sounds like a difficult achievement, Sheryl. Sounds like a verse in Scarborough Fair. "Have her make me an apple pie, Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme, Without no meat nor cow's milk inside, And then she'll be a true love of mine."
-t - Nov 20, 2018 1:48:27 pm PST #2282 of 30019
I am a woman of various inclinations and only some of the time are they to burn everything down in frustration
That doesn't sound right, Theo. I hope it's clear sailing for your roommate now.
Oh, no, Zen. How terrible. Not going does seem like the best choice for all of you, but how terribly sad.
Beverly - Nov 20, 2018 2:04:16 pm PST #2283 of 30019
Days shrink and grow cold, sunlight through leaves is my song. Winter is long.
I agree, Zen. You accomplish nothing for either of you by going.
If it's something you feel you can do, write down how you were friends, what she meant to you, and share it with her husband. Knowing someone else loved her, how deeply and in what way, may help him a little with his own grief.
Karl - Nov 20, 2018 2:51:09 pm PST #2284 of 30019
I adore all you motherfuckers so much -- PMM.
Beverly is wise. And I am so sorry, Zen. Please, please, please vent/grieve/cling to us as necessary. We love you and want to be here for you.
Jesse - Nov 20, 2018 4:07:36 pm PST #2285 of 30019
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.
I'm so sorry, Zen. Beverly's idea is perfect.
Connie Neil - Nov 20, 2018 4:19:02 pm PST #2286 of 30019
brillig
Don't go, Zen. If it's this far progressed, her liver is probably compromised, and failing livers do bad things to the brain, and major personality changes are well documented. And personally witnessed.
The best condolence call I received was from someone I hadn't heard from in years, he introduced himself with his name, offered sympathy and a fond memory of years back, then said he wouldn't keep me and said good-bye. It was refreshing and soothing and such a relief that I had no responsibility for the interaction at all. In a few days after the fact, perhaps you can do the same for her husband.