And now Matilda is sobbing and raging that we didn't share every detail with her all along, and I can hear her crying in her room but she doesn't want either of us anywhere near her. I'm gutted all over again.
And we live to fight another day.
Mal ,'Objects In Space'
Natter 76: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Foaminess
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, butt kicking, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
JZ - Apr 06, 2020 6:58:47 pm PDT #19409 of 30019
See? I gave everybody here an opportunity to tell me what a bad person I am and nobody did, because I fuckin' rule.
NoiseDesign - Apr 06, 2020 7:17:00 pm PDT #19410 of 30019
Our wings are not tired
I'm so sorry JZ. My heart goes out to you. I don't have wisdom, but I've stood at the bedside of a dying parent. I know that pain.
sarameg - Apr 06, 2020 7:18:10 pm PDT #19411 of 30019
Grief is harsh & unpredictable & you did your best & it will still suck & everyone will travel their own paths, unevenly & yet in parallel . I'm sorry, loves.
Katerina Bee - Apr 06, 2020 7:32:04 pm PDT #19412 of 30019
Herding cats for fun
(((House Zmayhem))) so glad you got to look into his eyes again
I'm not crying, Dave is crying...
Cass - Apr 06, 2020 7:56:48 pm PDT #19413 of 30019
Bob's learned to live with tragedy, but he knows that this tragedy is one that won't ever leave him or get better.
I wish you all some small comfort tonight. You gave each other an incredible gift in being there and truly speaking your heart and sharing those looks. It speaks volume of love.
Topic!Cindy - Apr 06, 2020 7:59:07 pm PDT #19414 of 30019
What is even happening?
JZ, I'm sorry. It's all so difficult. I'm glad you got the opportunity to see your Dad and talk to him.
I'm sorry for Matilda, too. She's at a hard age for all of this.
There comes a point where sometimes adolescent children have to understand/be reminded that parents are individual people with lives, and relationships, and heartbreak of their own. You didn't ask, but here's permission to tell Matilda: I told you what I could at the time. I am still processing this myself, and my heart is breaking.
Please take care of yourself, baby.
DavidS - Apr 06, 2020 8:04:02 pm PDT #19415 of 30019
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."
So they've turned off the pressure with the ventilator and he's breathing room air. He's on morphine and not conscious. He won't wake up and find Jacqueline missing. The last thing he will have seen is her eyes and Matilda's card.
His heart rate is slowing down. His breathing is slowing. They didn't extubate him because that's traumatic, so they are letting him wind down like this.
If you've been with somebody who is dying you know the body is tenacious and will fight to live. And so his body will go until it runs out energy. Until he exhales, and then does not inhale again.
DebetEsse - Apr 06, 2020 8:33:27 pm PDT #19416 of 30019
Woe to the fucking wicked.
Peace-ma to the whole ZMayhem family. It sounds like you have handled everything with as much grace as could reasonably be expected, given the situation. It's always sudden.
Cass - Apr 06, 2020 8:35:37 pm PDT #19417 of 30019
Bob's learned to live with tragedy, but he knows that this tragedy is one that won't ever leave him or get better.
I think that is the kindest possible transition.
I hope sleep comes at some point. Maybe not tonight but I wish you all some rest in the coming days.
Shir - Apr 06, 2020 9:58:42 pm PDT #19418 of 30019
"And that's why God Almighty gave us fire insurance and the public defender".
Hugs and peace~ma and so much love, JZ and family. It is excruciating and I am so sorry. And I am glad that you were able to visit, and to bring so much kindness with you. Love, dear.