Grief is harsh & unpredictable & you did your best & it will still suck & everyone will travel their own paths, unevenly & yet in parallel . I'm sorry, loves.

(((House Zmayhem))) so glad you got to look into his eyes again

I'm not crying, Dave is crying...

I wish you all some small comfort tonight. You gave each other an incredible gift in being there and truly speaking your heart and sharing those looks. It speaks volume of love.

JZ, I'm sorry. It's all so difficult. I'm glad you got the opportunity to see your Dad and talk to him.

I'm sorry for Matilda, too. She's at a hard age for all of this.

There comes a point where sometimes adolescent children have to understand/be reminded that parents are individual people with lives, and relationships, and heartbreak of their own. You didn't ask, but here's permission to tell Matilda: I told you what I could at the time. I am still processing this myself, and my heart is breaking.

Please take care of yourself, baby.

So they've turned off the pressure with the ventilator and he's breathing room air. He's on morphine and not conscious. He won't wake up and find Jacqueline missing. The last thing he will have seen is her eyes and Matilda's card.

His heart rate is slowing down. His breathing is slowing. They didn't extubate him because that's traumatic, so they are letting him wind down like this.

If you've been with somebody who is dying you know the body is tenacious and will fight to live. And so his body will go until it runs out energy. Until he exhales, and then does not inhale again.

Peace-ma to the whole ZMayhem family. It sounds like you have handled everything with as much grace as could reasonably be expected, given the situation. It's always sudden.

I think that is the kindest possible transition.

I hope sleep comes at some point. Maybe not tonight but I wish you all some rest in the coming days.

Hugs and peace~ma and so much love, JZ and family. It is excruciating and I am so sorry. And I am glad that you were able to visit, and to bring so much kindness with you. Love, dear.

And in a separate post:

My son's girlfriend (who's a nurse at a big hospital) tested negative for Covid-19, so that's good. We don't know the status of my husband's aunt, but she's still in the hospital.

Yesterday, my daughter and I, who haven't left the house in 3 (her) to 4 (me) weeks, went to see my mother for five minutes. We met her outside, and stood 10 feet from her, with us downwind. Now I'm second guessing that move, but I think the solitude was getting to her.

That's good about your son's girlfriend, Cindy! And I think that was as safe as it can be with your mom.

Happy belated birthday, Amy!

And askye, what all smart Buffistas have said. ~ma to you too.

Jacqueline, I'm so sorry that you had to say goodbye, and so grateful that you had the opportunity to let him go. I've said goodbye to one parent at 62 and another at 95, and although it was too soon for me, I know they were ready. I know your loving visit gave your father what he needed to be ready.

Wishes for peace and comfort for you, Matilda, David, and all those who mourn his passing.