I got my car title! I can go do all my car related stuff ...but not now but later. Technically the DMV is open and they are taking appointments but I am not going through the DMV offices right now.

I think my sewing machine is well and truly broken this time. I may have to get the backup out of the basement -- it's made of cast iron...

Yay askye! That is great.

I had to go to the hospital pharmacy today because that is where my prescription went before I would have it sent elsewhere. They had you call and pay, and then brought it to you all masked up. The worker said that retired folks were liking it so much they were going to keep it up.

Since I was already there (it is quite a ways from my house), I went to my normal liquor store. She was letting in one person at a time and wearing a mask. I had a scarf because of COURSE I haven't made myself a mask yet and she gave me a mask (we are quite friendly- she took my phone number because she tried to call me to let me know she was open). I also went to CVS to get some necessities (no toilet paper, but I needed batteries). They had good social distancing.

I also took a walk in Mt. Hope Cemetery, which is a favorite walk. This time I peeked in some mausoleums which had glass doors, and they had beautiful stained glass windows.

This is probably the last time I will need to go out for awhile. One of my Uber drivers (an older man) was still skeptical. The other one is actually a nurse, and had me sanitize right after getting in the car. We had a good chat.

This was my first Uber ride in a couple of weeks, because it seems to not be the best idea, but my other options are a bus or a friend. The bus seems like I should avoid, and I am not sure friend's cars would be sanitized. I can smell the Clorox wipes in the Ubers. It is probably my last unless I have to go to the doctor or something. It made me wonder how I would get to help if I did get sick.

Oh- Theo- I went to start sewing, and my sewing machine doesn't have a presser foot! I ordered some from Amazon, but I am not sure they are the right ones because I am struggling a little to get one on!

I'm about to go hug and cuddle the stuffing out of Matilda for the first time in two weeks.

My youngest brother just posted this on the Caringbridge page that had been created for our dad--he is such a fine, eloquent writer. He asked for input on it before posting but none of the rest of us could think of a word that needed changing. He also just called to check in. We've talked more in the last week than I think we have in the last few years.

Dear Family and Friends,

It's with heavy hearts that we update everyone on our beloved father, Gene.

He was brought to Summit Hospital on the morning of March 24th, and has been resting peacefully in the ICU since. In the first few days, he showed hopeful signs of battling this terrible virus, but soon had a fever again and required increased oxygen. In the days that followed, his temperature and oxygen levels returned to normal, but only with the increased help of a ventilator, and with that, higher levels of sedation required to remain comfortable. Dad, never wanting to burden his loved ones, kept private the extent to which his COPD had progressed, and this has made it very difficult for his lungs to overcome the effects of the virus. We hope and pray for recovery, but, while stable and not getting worse, his condition hasn't improved in about a week.

He fortunately isn't in any pain, and is receiving outstanding care from the nurses and doctors at Summit. The most difficult and unfair aspect of the situation is not being able to be with him, and each other, through this difficult time. With the help of the nurses, we three and Wendy have been able to FaceTime with him to let him know we're with him. Despite being very sedated, he did show signs of recognizing familiar voices, so we know this has provided some comfort and peace.

In the coming days, please keep Dad in your prayers. We continue to hope for a miracle, but we also know we must honor his wishes in determining appropriate care.

-Jacqueline, Chris, Lukas, and Wendy

It all feels completely surreal--I look at the Johns Hopkins update page, and read personal essays in WaPo and Salon and the NYT and whatnot and think, "Oh, that sounds terrible for them," and then I remember that some of those numbers are us and we're living in one of those First Person How I Lived Through It Meditations On A Pandemic essays. It's fucking absurd.

That's a lovely post, JZ

I'm so sorry for your loss, JZ. But I am very glad to know your health has improved.

That is lovely JZ, I'm so sorry this is happening.

I filed my unemployment claim, I had to clarify a few things at the end becuase I answered wrong (I guess I don't know) anyway that's done. I'll see what happens next. I still have to find my W2 and file my taxes.

Monday I have a telehealth appointment with my meds manager person and I'm going to ask about anti anxiety meds. As much as I've been complaining about my home life I've realized I've been acting badly some of it I can control better than others but I keep running into issues of sensory overload and just feelings of being frozen because everything is too much. So I need help. Also I'm going to be working hard to not be anxious that my unemployment claim will be denied (I know that's not rational but my anxieties aren't rational so.. )

There's no loss yet, but I think there will be.

My mom called a little bit ago to ask me to pass along a message to my dad, but she started crying and couldn't speak. They've been divorced for 43 years but always bound by parenting, and as angry as she still is she's now haunted by her first real memory of him, the 22-year-old friend of her brother's she made out with in his car during a mutual friend's wedding reception.