I just , even though I haven't been in therapy I've grown and changed so much and as much as I wish I wasn't in this predicament now I think overall the last year has been really good for me in terms of my self confidence and feelings of self worth. And also I h have a living situation that provides a lot of daily support which in turn has reduced my stress levels.

It's great that you can see all these sides of things.

I woke up early enough this morning that I actually went for a good walk! I should have gone further, but I do feel better, after being mostly in the house yesterday. Most of my walking over the past week or whatever has been with my mother, so not fast or long enough to really be satisfying. Now I can see if she wants to go for another walk later and feel good about it. Phew.

AND I just put in a load of laundry! Yesterday was kind of terrible, because I literally just sat in my chair all day and then sat on the sofa all night.

ltc is still waking up at school time, and she is already bouncing off the walls. Poor kiddo.

Today's my husband's birthday. A year ago today, Robert Mueller submitted his report to Bill Barr.

sj, hang in there, mama.

Medical dramas wouldn't drive me to imagine the worst ...

Matt, I've watched other medical dramas and been fine, and Scrubs is one of my favorite comedies, but the one early episode I saw of House made me pretty sure it would do in my head.

AND I just put in a load of laundry! Yesterday was kind of terrible, because I literally just sat in my chair all day and then sat on the sofa all night.

I've been feeling very kind of stuck for a while now.

The rain didn't help yesterday. I didn't do much beyond eat, pay a few bills online, and then napped for three hours and watched TV for the rest of the day. Mentally, I felt like crap by the time I went to bed.

The rain knocked me out yesterday too, Amy.

an, my library has some story books on their FB Page if you get desperate.

Yesterday was fatigue, a massive headache, no fever... I just slept and drank as much as I could.

All six of us have some symptom or another but none are severe and no one has an elevated temperature. It's hard to know what to do.

Today's goal is laundry.

ltc is letting TCG work for the most part, which is good. She has a running commentary on everything she does, which is less great for me, but I am managing to do some writing today. Reading is an impossibility. Laundry and brownies later.

I am not going to worry about keeping a distance from Matthew. There is no point. He was making a sandwich and didn't wash his hands before, touched his face repeatedly and unless I take over all the cooking and every bit of food prep there is no point. And probably no point in doing that now unless I can figure out how to disinfect the turkey, mayo, bread etc

And now his mom is on her round of afternoon calls (she does a morning round), on speaker phone with the door open and her tv is on and our tv is on.

And every person his mom knows is going to what about what has happened on our house because there is no privacy and she has to repeat everything. she can't help it she claims if there is a thought in her head it has to be said and people are just supposed to understand that.

So I don't even feel like I can have any kind of conversation with Matthew because it will be gossip fodder