You are such a kind and thoughtful person to others, Gud. I wish you could treat yourself 10% of that kindness and thoughtfulness.

And please, vent often. I thought to myself the other day that I didn't see your pixels in a while and I wondered how you are doing.

Timelies all!

Home early today because of a doctor's appointment, which was a last-minute reschedule. (I got home on Friday, checked the voice mail to find a message from the doctor's office saying that the appointment I had set for the 19th was cancelled because the doctor wasn't going to be in the office. Called the office yesterday morning and got the last appointment available in 2019, which was today.)

LinkedIn profile updated and open to recruiters. If you are on linkedin, please go have a look and let me know of any typos or just suggestions to make it better.

We look for Buffista island, but some people look for .... this?? [link]

if it wasn't located where it is I would love that.

3 job applications tonight.

hot bath and bed, I think. I am stressed from today.

Aw Gudanov... this is hard. I'm so sorry. You can find your way through this.

And... looks like we might be heading toward third elections, if there will be no last minute surprises. I don't have words anymore to what happens here. I mean, I do, but it looks like they lost their meaning and impact.

On my professional capacity, all I see on that Zillow listing is asbestos and lead remediation. Argh.

Gudanov, I want you to vent here. I try not to sound critical, but supportive which is what you really need.

FWIW, I think you'd do well with a therapist who does CBT because that can help you spot where your thinking is going off the rails logically. I mean: you were in a meeting, at work, expected as a courtesy to your employer and fellow employees to turn off your phone. I mean, I can imagine exceptions being made, like if your spouse is going to go into labor, or a loved one is in the hospital in critical condition.

But a power outage is rarely that time critical, unless somebody in your family is on oxygen or an iron lung. I doubt, other than sad inconvenience, waiting an hour before calling it in is actually of much importance.

The other side of this is, why, if your wife could call you, why couldn't she call the power company herself? Why is it ONLY your responsibility?

I am actually kind of interested in asking what is your wife's thinking in not taking responsibility for this power outage? She's the one at home, she's the one being actually inconvenienced -- you're out at work, making a living so that the mortgage is being paid and the electricity isn't being turned off for nonpayment.

What constitutes your failure in this situation? It seems to me that the only action you could have taken was to not turn off your phone, but that's what we're supposed to do at work when we're doing critical work, and that does include paying full attention during meetings. If you're already sticking out like a sore thumb in your department because your wife is calling you a couple times a day with problems and complaints, that's a problem that could impact your job.

Not answering the phone for an hour is not a failure, most especially when there is a perfectly able adult -- ON THE SCENE AT HOME WHERE THE POWER IS OUT -- able to call the power company her own self. (Is it one of those automated phone trees like my local EverSource uses? They repeat the address back to you and tell you that it's been added to the queue -- or most likely that the outage is already being addressed and should be back on within X hours, et cetera.)

Unless it's a local-to-your-house power outage, calling in doesn't speed up the process of getting the power back on. All it does is reassure you that the power company is aware of it, so you can curse the darkness a little more accurately.

It is not a failure. If that's what your wife is telling you, she's not thinking straight. If she expects you to be instantly available no matter what you're doing, and if you're not you're a failure, she's not thinking straight.

I know you want to be there 110% for your wife, but her thinking is not straight, and she's making expectations, and grading your performance on a busted set of curves that NO human being is going to be competent enough to achieve.