Gudanov, you really must talk to some therapist-type person to put your mistakes in perspective. (I mean, I'm the one who was obsessing a good part of the night over something that I can't do anything about 15 years on.)

I think Petunia is a little upset I took the dead mouse away!

Gudnov people make mistakes. PLEASE PLEASE reach out to someone.

I'm on Facebook. IM me. Send me am email. I'm at work right now but if you need to vent or something send me a long vent IM and I'll respond as soon as I can

My brother's friend texted and said he's taking my brother to the hospital. Thank god. So now I get to tell my parents. (My brother really believed he could do an at-home taper with beer like he did when I was there in 2016, and it would go smoothly -- which it did in 2016 -- and he didn't want to tell our parents until he was done and on the sober side of this relapse, because our dad will be a dick about it and our mom will go full drama queen and make it about her, and he just couldn't deal with that while he was trying to get sober. So when my brother asked me to not tell our parents, I agreed, because he was right -- our parents would not have reactions that are supportive to him. But agreeing to not tell them was contingent on this whole at-home taper working out, which it clearly has not. Going to the hospital is the clear bright goddamn line where I call the parents. Which is going to suck.)

I'm relieved he'll be getting medical attention, but my stress level isn't any lower.

Gudanov: you are a good person! If you trust and believe the Buffistas, who have been your online home for so many years, can you trust our judgment of you? Even if we don't see everything that goes on, we see you catastrophizing and we know from that. '

If you were to give a gift to your friends and family this year, it would be to go get help. It is OKAY TO GET HELP. Mike Dukakis got help after he lost the presidential campaign! All sorts of famous and accomplished people get help -- it's one way they stay accomplished, because it helps them manage their emotions and their lives.

Please please please call someone, or log onto Better Help or one of the other online services.

Please take action, to help yourself, your kids, and even your wife.

Gudanov, all I can do is second, third and fourth everything everyone else is saying. As a veteran of decades of catastrophizing and self-blame, I promise you, from experience, that what you're telling yourself is untrue. As Consuela said, Better Help and many other resources, both free one-time options and longer courses of therapy with licensed clinicians, are available anytime.

You are better than this. You deserve better than this. So does your family, whom you love so much.

Steph, I just caught up on what's happening with your brother -- so sorry you've gone through the long-distance wringer with that. Serious detox needs serious medical attention, so I'm a bit relieved about that part.

Oy, made it to the end of three days with my in-laws. The racism greatest hits, whitefonted for those who don't especially want to read a bunch of racist shit:

They ruined Monticello because now it's all about his mistress, the blacks in North Carolina are friendly but the blacks in DC have the black attitude, all of the security guards in DC museums are people of color so that's discrimination ha ha ha.

And bonus generational jerkishkness: Society is such a mess today because everyone is constantly whining about their feelings being hurt.

Not for the first time, I wonder if your husband was a changeling, Dana.

Ugh, Dana, sorry you have to get stuck in that.

{{Gud}} Please listen to the smart and concerned Buffistas.

Tep, I'm so relieved he's going to the hospital! Sorry you have to be a liaison to your parents about it.