Gudanov, all I can do is second, third and fourth everything everyone else is saying. As a veteran of decades of catastrophizing and self-blame, I promise you, from experience, that what you're telling yourself is untrue. As Consuela said, Better Help and many other resources, both free one-time options and longer courses of therapy with licensed clinicians, are available anytime.

You are better than this. You deserve better than this. So does your family, whom you love so much.

Steph, I just caught up on what's happening with your brother -- so sorry you've gone through the long-distance wringer with that. Serious detox needs serious medical attention, so I'm a bit relieved about that part.

Oy, made it to the end of three days with my in-laws. The racism greatest hits, whitefonted for those who don't especially want to read a bunch of racist shit:

They ruined Monticello because now it's all about his mistress, the blacks in North Carolina are friendly but the blacks in DC have the black attitude, all of the security guards in DC museums are people of color so that's discrimination ha ha ha.

And bonus generational jerkishkness: Society is such a mess today because everyone is constantly whining about their feelings being hurt.

Not for the first time, I wonder if your husband was a changeling, Dana.

Ugh, Dana, sorry you have to get stuck in that.

{{Gud}} Please listen to the smart and concerned Buffistas.

Tep, I'm so relieved he's going to the hospital! Sorry you have to be a liaison to your parents about it.

I slept til noon and took a shower at 2. I really need to get going on the job search and this house if I want to move. Motivation is at zero.

Steph, I am glad friend is taking your brother to the hospital. Obviously you know this, but alcohol withdrawal can be so serious, so I am glad he is getting help and not white knuckling it.

Dana I always wonder if people realize they are whining about people whining. I like to complain myself, but not about whole generations and ethnicities! I like to complain about specific people who annoy me. And I am pretty sure people complain about me too, because I do annoying things like storm out of the room when I am angry, because I am going to cry! And I cry a lot and don't follow processes for IT help when I am in a panic.

I cleaned out BOTH my closets and have another boatload of stuff to throw out or donate. I am also starting to be able to put things in semi logical places instead of random drawers. I think I have gotten just about everything to the right room and to a manageable size.

After another couple of paychecks, I think I may just call ServePro back to remove the stuff in the attic. There really isn't much, but I don't want to ask Aidan to do it because I have been boxing and storing my empty wine bottles up there instead of taking them out. There are only about three boxes, and then also three computers and some dirty pots and pans I stashed up there. But Aidan's father is an alcoholic and it just seems weird. And I cannot carry them down, because I just can't. And those guys were wonderful

Also, did anyone else see that our Buffistas, Sarah Myers, needs some help on Facebook? Since everyone was so helpful to me, I wanted to share [link]

damn Sophia, I feel like at this point I probably have more clutter and filth in my house than you do in yours! Go girl!

Steph, sorry about your brother (and your parents—I'm V familiar with the "don't want to tel them because then it'll be about their emotions not my issue" thing). Glad he's finally gone to the hospital.

I went to karaoke with friends last night which was awesome, and we ended around 1130, but then one friend was staying with me so we talked until like 1230 and somehow the. I read a book until 130. And slept until 11am. Though I woke up a bunch in the morning because my roommate was moving out!! Sad. And finding another roommate who isn't a horrible weirdo (and is instead s good kind of weirdo) is such a pain.

Good luck in the roommate search meara!

I am sort of an all in or all out kind of girl, and it is something I actually need to work on! I do not moderate. God help me if I ever took drugs! But I am trying to just get rid of all the shit, so I just don't get overwhelmed again. I moved so much shit 15 years ago and never unpacked

I also have doubles and triples of stuff. Like 3 dishwashing liquids, 3 cat litters, 5 tape measures, 3 hot sauces. I am never going to have to buy anything again.

But I think I am getting down to a reasonable amount of stuff to maintain. And just having Aidan come to carry things is so life changing. I don't know what I will do when he goes off to college. Unfortunately Petunia is of no help, except as a mouser. She is pretty good at theat!