Hello all! Thank you so much for the outpouring of love and support. It helps so much. Thank you for the offers of coloring books and sudoku books and the like. I would love all of those things! Since they are saying it'll be more like three months that I'll be here, I'll need all the distraction I can get. Javachik has already sent me the most thoughtful care package and it got delivered right to my room. I'm not sure how best to get my address out. Should I just post it here?

amych, I didn't know you worked so close to me! Yes, I'm in the cancer hospital of my work's namesake, on the 4th floor. It sounds like Calli sent you the specifics, but if you need more info, please reach out to my profile addy. They let people visit 24/7 up here, but the best times are daytime before 4:00, because they start my chemo infusion at 4:00 each day, and then I get pretty tired after that because of the anti-nausea meds they give me in preparation. I would love a visit! Do you have my current cell? You can text me when you are thinking of coming and I can let you know whether it's a good time or not. T. is setting up a WhatsApp group to let folks know about any changes in my condition in case there's a time I don't feel well enough to update people on my own. Would you like to be added to it? ETA: I went ahead and sent you my cell and a link to the WhatsApp group.

Cindy, your insurance story is so enraging. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this. Sorry for everyone who is dealing with it. That's very far in the back of my mind right now, but I'm sure it will become a pressing concern soon enough.

sj, I love that ltc wants to make a Gashlycrumb Tinies book! She is so one of us, and completely delightful.

Javachik, I'm so excited for your post-job adventure! And I just want to reiterate how much your thoughtfulness has meant to me these past few days. I can't even express how much.

msbelle, I hope you find a place to land, job-wise, soon.

Update on me: I know what kind of cancer I have. T-cell acute lymphoblastic leukemia. I thought my story was wild (finding out about it through the kidney stones, getting yanked out of my life the very same day and then finding out that I'll be here for maybe three months) but several of the nurses said that it's a common story on this floor (the patients here are mostly blood cancers). People find out when getting treated for something unrelated, getting admitted to the hospital the same day they find out, and not coming out for three months or more. Bananas! It's a very fast-moving cancer: two weeks ago, my blood was normal. Two days ago, pre-chemo, my blast count was 60%, which means that 60% of my peripheral blood was taken up by cancer cells. It can also spread to my spinal cord and brain really quickly, so I'm going to get chemo injected directly into my spine one day this week. Yaaay. My main chemo treatment is a cocktail of IV drugs called Hyper-CVAD, which totally sounds like a comic book villain. They say the side effects won't show up until about five days into treatment, and I'm in day two.

T. is staying until Dec. 4th. He's basically putting his life on hold for me, which is too much for my heart to hold. My niece flew up from FL for a day. I'm surrounded by so much love and support that I don't think I've fully processed any of this yet. The doctors and nurses keep commenting on what a positive attitude I have, but really, am I supposed to be able to wrap my head around the fact that I have a disease where the ten-year survival rate is 50% for my age group? After knowing about it for less than a week? Luckily, my therapist said she would be available to me whenever she can fit me in for phone sessions, because I expect I will lose it in epic fashion anytime now.

T. also said that since June, 2020 marks the 25th anniversary of our friendship, he wants us to go on a trip anywhere in the world I want to go. I have no idea where I want to go! Any suggestions from the hivemind? It's definitely nice to have things to look forward to (grad school, exciting trip).

{{{amyth}}} that really is a lot to take in at once. I'm glad you have so much love and support.

So much to take in, amyth. I think you lucked into the right hands for this treatment. I suppose the chemo is timed so that you can sleep through the worst of it and have a couple good hours in the day, depending on how your body tolerates it.

T. is staying until Dec. 4th. He's basically putting his life on hold for me, which is too much for my heart to hold.

Remember when loved ones do for you to reverse it in your mind. You know how much you would do for them. It's good to let people show their love and concern.

because I expect I will lose it in epic fashion anytime now

Maybe. Maybe not. Any method of dealing is okay. I know some people that have more emotional responses, and some that are more objective and systematic in response. A couple of my friends going through massive health issues responded by researching, learning, and mostly logical reactions, with bouts of sobbing in the shower of course.

My sister's lung cancer (20 years ago) involved removal of most of one lung and a bunch of radiation. She read somewhere that visualizing the radiation as ice being applied to her skin helped with the burns. She imagined she was lying on a sheet of ice when they did the procedures and the medical staff often commented that they were amazed she never had side affect burns.

tl;dr: Attitude is huge, and yours is great. Know that any way you respond is okay and people who say they want to help mean it.

Holy shit, amyth. We are all pulling for you!

Amyth, this is so much. You sound so like you are doing good right now, but please do reach out.

Weird question- will you need a chemo cap? I have made them before and can whip up a nice soft one for you and mail it off if you need. What are your favorite colors. If you don't need it, it can just be a cute hat-

What Jesse said!

That's wonderful T can spend that time there.

And thank god for the internet! Can you imagine if you had to call everyone you wanted to talk to???

Theo, I think I just lucked out on the timing of my chemo, because that was how long it took the hospital pharmacist to approve it and mix it up from when the oncology team put in the order. But the timing has worked out well!

Laura, that story about your sister is amazing! And thanks for all of your wise and kind words.

Sophia, I would love a chemo cap, thank you! They said to expect hair loss soon, so I need to think about options. My favorite colors are purple and other jewel tones.

Jesse, INORITE?? I barely even use my phone as a phone! I'm reserving phone calls mostly for the over-70 crowd who want to stay in touch. And it's a lot! Hooray, Internet!