Tom, sometimes when I'm going through a rough patch and not sleeping well, my body will somehow just decide that I'm so exhausted that I'm going to get a good night's sleep regardless. Could that be what happened to you last night?

Tomorrow the cleaners come!

Double holiday!

Get on that porch, Sophia! Then you can have a well-earned rest. Just you and your kitty.

No, I totally get that. When I hit a patch where I'm not worried about anything, it makes me anxious, because it doesn't feel right to not be worried about *something.*

This! I assume I must be forgetting something, and get all anxious about what it is I've dropped the ball on.

Sophia, thanks for posting about this process. You've inspired me to be more proactive (when I get my stuff back) about going through and getting rid and not letting stuff go the way I have been.

Tom, first I have to say that your work with therapy is one of the things that is inspiring me. I think, if Tom can do, Maybe ai can do it too.

I think sometimes anxiety is so exhausting your body just has to sleep and let it go in order to go on. I would take it right now (although personally I am incredibly anxious, and then not and then anxious)

The back porch is not great, but good enough to pass inspection I think. Maria is coming Saturday to help, and since she is good at sorting and purging, this may be a good project for her. It is a bunch of boxes from when I moved over 10 years ago. I took out nine bags of trash to do this.

I am also really grateful to the therapist. I told her how I still hadn't told my mother, and she was like "Do you ever have to tell your mother. that sounds terrible!" I think she gets me.

Monday I can get my kitty spayed, and I am also so excited about that. I had put that off because of the cleaning, but your generous donations means I can do it, and by Monday, I think it will be clean enough for her recovery.

I sort of wish I could take one more week off, but it makes me too nervous I will lose my job.

I am also really grateful to the therapist. I told her how I still hadn't told my mother, and she was like "Do you ever have to tell your mother. that sounds terrible!" I think she gets me.

It amazes me how therapy is sometimes just my therapist reminding me something obvious that I genuinely hadn't considered as a thing I could do. The day she told me "You don't have to answer the phone when your dad calls" changed my life, and that's no exaggeration.

So yeah, if your mother isn't involved, there's not really a need for her to know. Better all around.

Sophia, I'm so amazed with how well you're doing! Go you!

It's a rainy day and therefore a high pain day for me. ltc is tired and throwing tantrum after tantrum.

I like the cut of your therapist's jib, Sophia. Can you approach someone at work (HR or whoever) and discuss taking some more time off? Like you could use some more time to get things settled but you can come back if they really need you, let them decide if it's ok or not

I am also inspired by you, by the way. It will not surprise you to learn, I suspect, that I have gotten myself into a similar situation although without the pressures of landlords or inspections to get me off my tail and actually taking care of what I very well know needs to get done. November I'm getting to work on getting on top of it!

It amazes me how therapy is sometimes just my therapist reminding me something obvious that I genuinely hadn't considered as a thing I could do.

That is why I want to stay with her for the five visits, even though she thinks I am pretty healthy and just got in over my head, rather than being pathological. I am a terrible liar so I am avoiding my mothers calls and I will probably tell her after I have the certificate of occupancy because I get weirdly guilty.

I am also experiencing guilt because after all this, I may still want to move to a studio apartment, which seems more reasonable for me to keep up than a one bedroom with a bonus room, a sun porch and an attic, I just want nothing but me, my cat, five outfits for work, and ability to eat dinner.

Of course in the lying part, I realized I have this whole attic, so if anyone questions me about the dumpster and the people tomorrow,I can say they are cleaning out my attic, which is embarrassing, but not as enbarrassing as cleaning out my living room. I am a terrible person.