Oof, that sounds so difficult, Laura. I'm sorry.

Thank, David. Everyone was still reeling from losing a young woman so quickly and unexpectedly. Yeah, cancer is cruel.

Was that thinking about you today, Laura. Much love to you.

Oh, Laura. That’s so hard, but it sounds like it went as possibly good as it could have gone without a complete reconciliation. I’m sure hopeful he comes around. I wonder if the weight he’s gained is from being in a depression.

On a *much* lower stakes level, I’ve got some similar themes happening this year, and I’m very anxious about how they’ll go. Mainly seeing ex-friends or people who just faded out of my life (when I did not want them to and made it expressly clear) at events that I will not miss just to avoid awkwardness. (I *am* missing one such event up in Exeter next weekend, but it’s only because I got my dates mixed up and have tickets for a Broadway show that I’m desperate to see.)

Laura I'm really sorry you have to go through this. I hope your son comes to his senses soon.

So in my weight loss/muscle gain thing ..I've noticed my bras seem tight where I normally have them hooked (on the last row of hooks) and I had to change to the middle for more room but that Is a little loose and my pull over comfy bras are a little tighter and less comfy.

I was frustrated because I lost weight how is it my chest is getting fatter?

And then at work I was moving things and it felt easier and then I realized maybe it's my muscles that have gotten bigger around my chest. Which is cool.

What is also cool is I was pulling a bag of flour off top stock and caught a glimpse of my bicep out of the corner of my eye. I don't think it's visible to anyone else but my biceps are now noticable to me when I bend my arm without having to flex them.

Yes, I am determined to continue to do things even when there may be awkwardness. Breathe and do it. In the next month I have visitors coming who were close to Bobby, his favorite cousins from NY visiting for Spring Break, and my sisters and a whole bunch of local family here for the Air Show. I'm thinking I should let him know when these family gatherings will occur and let him know he would be welcomed. Maybe it would be easier for him with a bunch of other people. Maybe he would come with the kids. I can't imagine his wife coming. I don't know, but I feel like it is my role to try. I know he misses his close family but has put himself in a corner. (Note that I will swing to anger and never wanting to see them before the day is done. Emotions are still volatile.)

Go askye with the unintentional bodybuilding! Strength is cool! My strength has deteriorated since I don't lug around computers, kids, and other things on a regular basis.

Volatile emotions are understandable.

I have some formerly extremely close friends who seem to be doing a fade out and I hate it but there’s not really much to be done?? It sucks badly though.

I have some formerly extremely close friends who seem to be doing a fade out and I hate it but there’s not really much to be done?? It sucks badly though.

It’s one of the hardest things I’ve gone through as an adult, and maybe worse because I never anticipated it. I’m admittedly super choosy when it comes to who I “let in” and then once I do, I’m about as loyal and generous a friend you can have. I put as much energy into my friendships as I do into romantic relationships, and when a close friend just allows things to fade away, it hurts as much as any other breakup.

I do know I’m not alone in this kind of pain, and it’s been interesting in the last few years to see more of an emphasis on exploring friendships - the book the “Call Your Girlfriend” podcasters wrote about their friendship was good. And I really like Marisa Franco’s research.

Anyway, the good news is that I’m still able to make new friends, and I have been, and that’s great. But it doesn’t mean I don’t miss people. And it doesn’t mean I’m looking forward to seeing them (the “ex” friends) in social situations.

Laura I so hope this year is the year you’re reconciled with Bobby.