I have a whole lot of medical stuff going on, and I think I have an underlying confidence that whatever is broken will be fixed and a determination to get through it. There is still however a shadow of anxiety and concern that sneaks in from time to time. Head to knee and places in between.

The most concerning thing is my brain. 7-1/2 years ago I had the seizure and things have been A-OK since then. I rejected the meds and altered life style and did well. That did however change the night before last. I woke up at 4AM knowing things were very unwell. I felt bad enough that I woke DH up and told him what was going on. Body didn't feel right, and I was very confused in a different way. We discussed all the options, which was a challenge for him since I was nothing short of terrified. We went and sat outside in the nice cool early morning breezes, and I took a few tokes since we decided we wanted nothing to do with the ER and would contact neurologist at a decent hour. I accept my privilege of having a lot of doctor's cell phones. DH texted him at 7 since all doctors are up early. Haven't talked to the man in over 5 years because he joined a huge Neuro practice. He was on vacation but called his office and got me in at 1 that day. Doctors being the way they are I have scheduled MRI, EEG, and blood tests. I brought my labs from March and discussed the diet and exercise changes made in recent months. Dr. thinks I probably screwed up my chemicals and need to have more Gatorade and less coffee, and take medications of course. So we'll see what happens here. Again last night I had about 20-30 minutes of stuff not right in the middle of the night. But it wasn't as bad. I'll do whatever I have to do to keep my brain spicy. And have resumed my lapsed habit of indulging in the weed in the evening instead of wine. I'm old school there, doctor says it is fine in the natural state.

Heading downstream, I have several appointments scheduled for bladder function stuff, and the repair of the really inconvenient and annoying prolapsed uterus. That whole birthing babies stuff can do some rearranging. I have some anxiety about the procedures, but doctor says better to deal with it at 67 than 87 and it isn't going to get better.

Further down, my knee is stupid, but all, and I mean each and every one of my doctors, say the knee, cholesterol, sugar, and life in general would be better if I lose the damn weight. Of course it is possible that my efforts on that caused some electrolyte issues. So more diet, maybe less walking and more swimming or biking to go easier on the body.

I'll do what it takes to turn this stuff around and get healthy. I know I am fortunate to have good doctors and nothing that isn't treatable. Thanks for listening. Just wanted to spill it out somewhere.

Thanks for listening.

Thanks for sharing! I want to hear it.

Just wanted to spill it out somewhere.

That is the point of us! Or, one of our many little points on our little pointy heads.

I'm turning 60 on my birthday next month and one of the conversations I just had with JZ was basically, "As we do our financial planning, let me be clear that travel is a priority for me because I don't know how functional my body is going to be from 65 to 70. So in these next five years there are places I want to go."

My whole experience with sciatica was a huge wakeup call/existential crisis for me. Realized I needed to lose weight and maximize my health as much as possible because shit's falling apart. If I want to go walking around Scotland I need to keep running the steps every weekday.

Laura, the brain thing would concern me, too. Are you willing to take meds this time? I just want your spicy brain to stay spicy.

travel is a priority for me because I don't know how functional my body is going to be from 65 to 70.

Obviously everyone is different, and you can't know for sure what the future holds, but I will say that my mom went to Ireland when she was 72 or 73, and that trip was full of long-ass rambling walks and whatnot. Granted that she's an outlier for her age, but honestly, what makes her such an outlier is her ironclad priority to exercise most days of the week. Yeah, she teaches yoga, but she also takes long-ass walks and lifts weights. She also walks (not runs) up and down 1 flight of steps from the living room to the basement, 25 times. Not sure if she does that every day, but she does it several times a week at least.

Anyway, my point is that you've really killed it with your commitment to running the steps, and (this feels like a tautology) activity is what keeps people active for a long time. (Shit, my dad is a shambling horror, medical condition-wise, and yet at 79 he still works at the grocery store 4 days a week, and I really believe that kind of activity has kept him in the acceptable shape he's in. If he just sat around, he would either be in assisted living or probably dead by now.) So, you know, you might be hiking the Grand Canyon at 75.

So, you know, you might be hiking the Grand Canyon at 75.

More likely touring Tokyo, but yes, I'm not quitting yet. I'm just conscious that I need to do more regular maintenance if I want to do those things. Thinking about doing Pilates because my friends that do it love it and I think that's a good way to build up core strength and flexibility, but having the support of the machine.

I say all that while giving the calendar the side-eye since I'll be 50 next month. Ramping up my exercise after Covid has reminded me of the same thing -- I feel better and function better when I prioritize exercise most days of the week. And being forced to slow way way down for a while made me realize that if I can get back to where I was before Covid (and I'm close at this point, which: yay!), the only way to be active for a long time is (another tautology here) to be active.

Plus I fucking got trekking poles for hiking as a Christmas gift and I want to use them more than once, god damn it. Though I'll hold off on any hiking until the cicadas are gone, because fuck that.

Plus I fucking got trekking poles for hiking as a Christmas gift and I want to use them more than once, god damn it. Though I'll hold off on any hiking until the cicadas are gone, because fuck that.

You can probably spear an entire skewer's worth of cicadas on your trekking sticks.

You can probably spear an entire skewer's worth of cicadas on your trekking sticks.

Bug-kabobs.

Sending love, Laura, and am really glad you have lots of medical experts on speed dial.

My mother, at 78, would still be a pretty active traveler but my Dad has advanced Parkinson's and she's his primary caretaker. I'd love to take her any number of places but I don't think she'd feel ok traveling when my dad's not able to. They did do a fair amount of travel around the US, and to Ireland, the UK, and Italy, though, when he was able to.

Mom was still well enough to enjoy travel into her 90s.

I told DH this morning that the last 30+ years were business and kids and the next 30 has to be us. He replied that he probably only had 5-10 good ones in him. Of course I responded that I had to get in shape for DH#4 then.

In waiting room for MRI.

Laura, that sounds scary and I am glad you are having matters looked at. May whatever work you undertake to make you feel better in your body be rewarded.

Did someone mention Reformer Pilates? {does the excited meerkat dance} It is my favorite thing. It is not everyone's thing - my yoga teacher who danced professionally for years haaaaaaaates it - and you absolutely do want at least one private session before you start dropping money on classes. But one of the requirements for our next place is enough space for me to have a Stott machine at home, that is how much fun I have on them.