my boys continue to disappoint.

I'm disappointed in them. They are lucky to have wonderful parents in you and Brendon. Hopefully this is a phase and they'll get their asses in gear soon.

And you can always vent here.

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That stinks, Laura. I'm sorry. Yeah, totally vent here.

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I really appreciate having the safe space to vent. I can talk to my sisters, or sisters-in-law, but they tend to get protective of me and blame his wife or whatever. It is almost surely a development phase. I know I was super shitty to my seriously awesome parents until sometime in my 20s. I spent the next 40 years feeling guilty about it!! I asked my mother many times how she even tolerated my existence, she just shrugged and said she told herself, this too shall pass. And I do believe it will. I am way more upset about how this has devastated Brendon who has (in his mind) lost his little buddies and feels like it was all an illusion and they never loved him and never will. He is way more emotional than me by nature and I just can't convince him it isn't personal and it is just a particularly shitty stage of life.

Thank you again for the permission to let it out.

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I just want to give Brendon a big hug.

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He'd appreciate it!

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So, I'm turning 50 in June.

I had plans with friends to go to Ireland (long been a dream of mine, plus my passport is expiring this year having never been used - which feels like a personal failure), but due to planning being put off too long due to pandemic, it's not happening this year. So I tried to adjust the plan a little smaller, I was thinking Niagara Falls (I've been once, for a day, as part of a bigger trip, but would love to go again) but now my friends will be heading to Kansas for a long-delayed funeral that week instead.

After my bday in 2020 was SOOOO low-key (it fell on Father's Day, my dad wanted to get together the day before because he doesn't like to mess with crowds, but my friends were all with their dads the day of, so I literally did NOTHING), I really need to be doing SOMETHING or I fear I will fall into a single-childless-nobody-loves-me hole of DOOM depression.

So I'm trying to be proactive. I'm reviewing whether any other of my local friends would be likely to be up for a trip on 2 months' notice. Reviewing which of my relatives I might like to go visit. Whether I'd like to do Niagara Falls on my own anyway. Which of my non-local friends (Hi, Guys!) might be up for a visit. Who's near attractions, who's near other people (maximum visit density), etc., etc.

So anyway, I just really wanted to get that out. I couldn't tell my friend how very disappointed I am that she's bailed on me - I mean, her grandmother died, even I'm not that selfish - but I'm really let down. And feeling very, "Well, typical, since nobody loves that much anyway," about it.

Anyway, wish me good plans, I guess.

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June 21st, right? Also my nephew's birthday in NY. Anyway, that is around the time I head to NY for the summer and Niagara Falls is about 3 hours away I think. I have my passport as far as going to the CA side goes. I have not made my northern migration plan as yet. I generally try and get there by the 4th of July. Anyway, let me know how the plans progress.

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Good to know, Laura, thank you! I actually was thinking about you in Florida and wondering whether you're anywhere near Tarpon Springs (several relatives there). If you might be available as a NY base of operations, that's also definitely something to consider!

And yes, June 21st. :)

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Tarpon Springs is north of Tampa on the other coast, so like 4-1/2 hours away.

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Tarpon Springs is north of Tampa on the other coast, so like 4-1/2 hours away.

So, you're more of a northern asset, then. Noted!

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