I'm sorry it has been such a difficult time, Laga.

Hil, is your profile email best?

Yeah, profile email is good.

Okay, insent.

Thanks.

Ugh. I need to go to campus tomorrow to finish up some work that I didn't finish yesterday. I know that, once it gets to tomorrow morning, I'm going to find some way to convince myself that I don't actually need to go in. But I do. Some of this stuff needs my office computer setup. Blah.

As I expected, I wasn't able to convince myself to go to campus today. I rearranged my schedule a bit so that I'll be caught up on everything by Tuesday.

Also, I think I have a perforated eardrum. And, it's kind of nice? My allergies are acting up, but rather than having excruciating pain in my ear, I've just got some itchy fluid in my ear canal. (I'm going to the doctor soon, so I'll have her look at it then.)

If someone is calling you something you really don't want to be called, but it's friendly and innocent and no harm is meant, should you (a) ask them not to and risk seeming petty and hurting their feelings, or (b) shut up and deal with it?

Specifically, people keep calling me lady and I hate it. "Hey lady!" It's cheerful and friendly and it's ridiculous for me to be distressed about it, but I am. My old boss used to call me lady, pop up beside my desk like Beelzebub "Hey lady!", and it was confusing and upsetting but I didn't say anything because she was my boss and also pretty volatile. Then a co-worker did it, then a friend did it, and now one of my best friends just addressed me with "Hey lady!" and I almost cried. I don't know why this bothers me so much.

That's a tough one, Zen. Maybe a lighthearted "I'm no lady" response? Various customers (mostly nurses) tend to call me love or dear, which I expect they do to their patients. Here women don't call each other lady so much as "mami" which sounds like mommy. A Latina habit. It took some getting used to.

Oh, someone not Latina called me "mami" once, strange but didn't bother me as much.

I'm sorry, Zen. That sucks. The risks of (a) are real, but (b) is totally unfair, since this nearly brings you to tears.

Does the word have a negative association with you because of being harangued to "act like a lady" or "sit like a lady" or "be ladylike" when you were a kid, or does it feel old to you, or sexist or something?

I think Laura's suggestion of "lighthearted" is probably the best one, if you can do it. That is to say, a lot of times, when I'm feeling bad and try to come off lighthearted, I don't, but I'm the only one who doesn't realize it. My voice doesn't have a great poker face (sorry for the mixed metaphor).