Yay Shir!

I don't understand how people manage to have kids. I'm exhausted just taking care of myself.

I don't understand how people manage to have kids. I'm exhausted just taking care of myself.

The emotional labor involved in being Tim's wife is fucking ridiculous. I can't imagine having kids on top of this.

(I love him, and our life together, so SO much. But Jesus Christ, the emotional labor. At least Miss Moneypenny earned a salary.)

t edit Argh, I don't want that to come across like I'm one-upping you, Hil. I really am not. It was just my "shit no, I can't imagine having kids, either" reaction. I admire the shit out of parents.

I can't imagine having kids, either" reaction. I admire the shit out of parents.

Heh. Scola got to watch me give New Parent Advice to a pair of new parents at the cafe. They were clearly besotted with their six-day old babe, but also kind of drunkenly sleep deprived.

I literally slept all day on Saturday, and had to force myself to get up on Sunday. I always wanted kids. I'm pretty sure I don't actually have the energy to have them.

I'd honestly be so screwed without TCG. ltc was actually a ridiculously easy infant, but she is an exhausting preschooler. When I see how little so many of the fathers I know do (not here but in meatspace), and the fact that he just expects to do those things with my having to say anything, I know I got extremely lucky in the spouse department.

One of my friends is a professor, and she's single, and she had two kids with a sperm donor. Her mother lives with her and helps a lot with the kids, but her mother is older and has some mobility issues, and I really have no idea how they do it.

Hil, just the fertility treatments alone. I don't know how anyone does that without a ton of emotional support.

So many of the other parents at ltc's school have 3 or 4 kids (and often the one ltc's age is the oldest of these families), and I have no clue how they do it.

I started using one of those apps that analyzes your sleep patterns. Of the nine nights that I've used it so far, there have been only two when my results looked even remotely close to what they're supposed to look like. Most of the other nights, they look a lot more like the "This is how alcohol can mess up your sleep" pictures. The two "normal" nights were nights when I was just completely and utterly exhausted and practically collapsed into bed. (One of my doctors prescribed a new sleep med for me. But I keep having to work late, and haven't been able to pick it up, since the pharmacy closes at 7.)

Like sj, I would have been completely incapable of raising the boys without DH's full participation. The first couple years when they were nursing I carried more of the load, but after that he took over so much of the effort. All the school stuff, and sports, and just always assumed they were his responsibility as much as mine. Yes, I know dads that fail in that regard, but fortunately most men I know get it. I am confident my sons will be great fathers.

I know many women who do it alone, but I know I couldn't. My niece made the decision to go it alone at 42 via IVF. But her parents moved to her neighborhood to be full time helpers. We were amused because she has said since she was a little girl that she would never marry or have kids. Not surprising since as the eldest of 6 kids she had enough of child rearing. But apparently she got hit hard with the clock ticking stuff and is just over the moon with her daughter.

Short version, parenting is tough, but easier with help.