Like sj, I would have been completely incapable of raising the boys without DH's full participation. The first couple years when they were nursing I carried more of the load, but after that he took over so much of the effort. All the school stuff, and sports, and just always assumed they were his responsibility as much as mine. Yes, I know dads that fail in that regard, but fortunately most men I know get it. I am confident my sons will be great fathers.
I know many women who do it alone, but I know I couldn't. My niece made the decision to go it alone at 42 via IVF. But her parents moved to her neighborhood to be full time helpers. We were amused because she has said since she was a little girl that she would never marry or have kids. Not surprising since as the eldest of 6 kids she had enough of child rearing. But apparently she got hit hard with the clock ticking stuff and is just over the moon with her daughter.
Short version, parenting is tough, but easier with help.
I don't understand how people manage to have kids. I'm exhausted just taking care of myself.
The secret is, I don't take care of myself. I'm surviving entirely a diet of coffee, whiskey, cheese, and sarcasm.
(It also gets a lot easier, physically, once they're past the toddler stage and can do more independent self-care. So instead of bedtime taking 45 minutes out of my evening, I just tell them to go upstairs and go to bed. My 12 year-old is a natural early riser and makes his own breakfast EVERY DAY before I wake up. If he weren't so much like me in every other way I would suspect him of being a changeling.)
What Jessica said. I also cheated and spread my kids so far out, I was never taking care of more than one kid in diapers at a time.
Speaking of which, today's is my oldest's birthday. He is 28. Twenty and eight. It's simultaneously pretty cool and freaking me out.
Facebook wants me to friend someone who tortured me throughout grade school. There needs to be a "Hell no!" option.
wrod. sadly, most of mine are family members.
Yeah, DH is carrying a lot of the child care. I wish we could space out more, but we'll likely end up with 2 in diapers at once, since I was already AMA this time around.
If we were even considering having another one, now would be the time with ltc in school 5 days a week. However, the first time around I found it very difficult to carry her to and from the car. So, I wouldn't be able to get ltc to and from school if I had another. It still makes me sad that ltc is going to be an only.
I'm surviving entirely a diet of coffee, whiskey, cheese, and sarcasm.
OK, I don't have kids, but I am intrigued by this lifestyle
sj, being an only isn't the worst thing in the world. She has loving parents, there are more family members around ... she can have a good life.
FWIW, my mother insisted on having a second child, over my father's objections, on the grounds that she'd been an only child and wouldn't wish that on her child(ren). She overlooked the fact that she had a half sister - raised far away, but still visiting - that she loathed. So ... better a happy only than a constant state of sibling rivalry.
I always wanted a sibling, and I worry about her having older parents and no one to share elder care with someday.
