I love that metaphor!

I love you guys. I don't say that enough, or provide specific support. But Steph, Zen, Laura, Suzi, Windsparrow, Epic, and all the rest of you, I admire the hell out of all of you for dealing with your own stuff. You provide Leverage, no, that's not it. Courage, when I'm ready to give up. Examples of determination and ingenuity in dealing with your own circumstances, and great kindness toward yourselves, which is harder than the kindness you show others. I'm constantly amazed, and then I remember what place this is, and which people you are.

I should have a concluding sentence, and I don't have one. So, ::raises cup of cold coffee:: here's to all of us. There's none like us!

So, ::raises cup of cold coffee:: here's to all of us.

Work is over...I can find a glass of whiskey to toast you!

I know it is only Monday, but I'm already looking forward to the weekend. It is going to be my first weekend this month where I only have 90 minutes of training scheduled. The last two weekends have had multiple training sessions each day. Two weeks from now we only have training on Saturday, but it is 3 sessions including my actual team (we coordinate the training for all the teams, give the first 30 minutes on general volunteer information before the team specific orientation). Then I will be "on" from Wednesday the 28th - Sunday the 2nd. I plan on sleeping all the the 3rd and 4th.

Teppy, I didn't have a parent have open heart surgery and I'm the one who put myself in this position of having so much ON time this month. But I totally get you and I highly recommend being extremely protective of your OFF time, just for sanity sake. You don't owe anyone that time.

I know it is only Monday,

Um, it's Tuesday? Does that help? Or have you lost a day you were counting on?

edit: I had to double-check, because I have Wednesday off and I got scared

I sent my coordinator the email saying I need to plan some down time, telling her which weeks I was thinking about, and saying I could take 2 articles each week. I did also mention that the 3 articles they gave me last week so I would have a lighter load were actually as long as 4 that I normally do, so I didn't save any time and I'm still playing catch-up. They can't undo anything, but they need to at least know. If they're not looking at page count before they assign stuff, they need to do that. And it explains why my last article is going to be late.

Of course, my brain is freaking out, telling me they're going to terminate my contract. I'm trying to tell it to shut the hell up. They're all super nice and have never ever had any issues with my timeliness or editing skillz. And this is the time of year people go on vacation, anyway, so it might even help them to not have as many articles from the freelancers to process. At least, that's what I'm trying to tell the part of my brain that's freaking out.

I know it is only Monday,

Um, it's Tuesday? Does that help? Or have you lost a day you were counting on?

Ugh. It was my work Monday because I ended up taking yesterday off, guess I got confused. Yesterday, once my friend was settled back home after her medical adventure, I ended up flaking off for the rest of the day and taking a 4 hour nap. Guess my body needed to just shut down.

Just dropping in to say Hi before I head out the door for home. I've been trying to catch up most of the day but I had someone else's emergency to deal with (new user manual promised to the customer in April, Engineer futzed around for months and finally turned it in to me this morning, so I had one day to get it proofed, formatted, and turned around for approvals, because they re-promised it for this Friday - normally I wouldn't bother to give so much detail when bitching, but I love that you guys actually GET IT), so I was a bit more focused (on work and nothing else) than usual today.

Anyway, reading along, agreeing with Bev on the awesomeness found here, promising myself that I will stop living in my head so much and remember to be present more, including/especially here.

So, hey guys! Love y'all! And good night!

One of the most important things I learned from therapy is that it's okay, you can still love your parent WHILE acknowledging that they fucked shit up, even if they were trying their best.

I can only imagine how tough it is for you, Steph, as you navigate caring for your mom while trying to maintain sanity. I might frame it not as losing ground but as finding out where the patches had not quite adhered and having the chance to reinforce the patch work. For you, I would frame it that way. For me, I'd be all over the feeling of failure and losing ground.

Says the person who spent the last week utterly amazed that her favorite brother is a dick just like the other brother. (I've been asking myself, "Did I just get 'fake geek girl'ed by the guy who introduced me to Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy ?)

One of the most important things I learned from therapy is that it's okay, you can still love your parent WHILE acknowledging that they fucked shit up, even if they were trying their best.

The first idea that I could maybe do this was the first time I read The Prince of Tides when I was a freshman in college. Lila Wingo is eerily like the worst aspects of my mom, hand to god. (Which I got confirmed when, in a perverse streak, I gave the book to mom to read, but then my stepdad read it, too, and they apparently had a huge fight when he told Mom she was just like Lila Wingo.)

Anyway, yeah. I am coming to terms with that dichotomy, and it's been okay to deal with. But Mom's surgery just threw a monkey wrench into the works for a while because if someone's needs are going to come first, it's going to be the person who just had open-heart surgery. Which is as it should be, and would be fine in a less fucked-up family. However, THIS family has an adult daughter who is just now working through how to even acknowledge that it might not be unsafe to have needs.

This has been your morning brain dump.