Well, I'm just taking it as a lesson that I need to say "Only 2 articles, please, and not substantially longer than average, so that my time worked is actually reduced." Fool me once.

while still trying to come to grips with the idea that everything she programmed in me was wrong and a lie and damaging.

So we are therapy twinsies. Yay? No, not yay.

You absolutely need to take some time for yourself. You need down time, and you DESERVE down time.

You absolutely need to take some time for yourself. You need down time, and you DESERVE down time.

I have a draft of my email to my coordinator asking for fewer articles for a couple of weeks. It's sitting in my drafts folder, just waiting for me to send it.

Deep breath, Steph. Send it. It's okay.

The enormous amount of destructive programming put in me by my dysfunctional family has taken decades to excavate and chisel away. (Mixed metaphor, ahoy.) The more I pull out, the more I see how much of me it affected.

The more I pull out, the more I see how much of me it affected.

Like Greenland getting higher as the glaciers melt.

I love that metaphor!

I love you guys. I don't say that enough, or provide specific support. But Steph, Zen, Laura, Suzi, Windsparrow, Epic, and all the rest of you, I admire the hell out of all of you for dealing with your own stuff. You provide Leverage, no, that's not it. Courage, when I'm ready to give up. Examples of determination and ingenuity in dealing with your own circumstances, and great kindness toward yourselves, which is harder than the kindness you show others. I'm constantly amazed, and then I remember what place this is, and which people you are.

I should have a concluding sentence, and I don't have one. So, ::raises cup of cold coffee:: here's to all of us. There's none like us!

So, ::raises cup of cold coffee:: here's to all of us.

Work is over...I can find a glass of whiskey to toast you!

I know it is only Monday, but I'm already looking forward to the weekend. It is going to be my first weekend this month where I only have 90 minutes of training scheduled. The last two weekends have had multiple training sessions each day. Two weeks from now we only have training on Saturday, but it is 3 sessions including my actual team (we coordinate the training for all the teams, give the first 30 minutes on general volunteer information before the team specific orientation). Then I will be "on" from Wednesday the 28th - Sunday the 2nd. I plan on sleeping all the the 3rd and 4th.

Teppy, I didn't have a parent have open heart surgery and I'm the one who put myself in this position of having so much ON time this month. But I totally get you and I highly recommend being extremely protective of your OFF time, just for sanity sake. You don't owe anyone that time.

I know it is only Monday,

Um, it's Tuesday? Does that help? Or have you lost a day you were counting on?

edit: I had to double-check, because I have Wednesday off and I got scared

I sent my coordinator the email saying I need to plan some down time, telling her which weeks I was thinking about, and saying I could take 2 articles each week. I did also mention that the 3 articles they gave me last week so I would have a lighter load were actually as long as 4 that I normally do, so I didn't save any time and I'm still playing catch-up. They can't undo anything, but they need to at least know. If they're not looking at page count before they assign stuff, they need to do that. And it explains why my last article is going to be late.

Of course, my brain is freaking out, telling me they're going to terminate my contract. I'm trying to tell it to shut the hell up. They're all super nice and have never ever had any issues with my timeliness or editing skillz. And this is the time of year people go on vacation, anyway, so it might even help them to not have as many articles from the freelancers to process. At least, that's what I'm trying to tell the part of my brain that's freaking out.