Poor Buffy. Your life resists all things average.

Willow ,'First Date'


Spike's Bitches 49: As usual, I'm here to help you, and I... are you naked under there?

Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.


Steph L. - Jun 13, 2017 8:44:44 am PDT #549 of 8185
the hardest to learn / was the least complicated

Therapy twinsies? I love my mom

I'm really naive because I didn't expect it would be so hard to be a caretaker for Mom this past week while still trying to come to grips with the idea that everything she programmed in me was wrong and a lie and damaging. Because I love her and wanted her surgery to come out okay, and I was 100% there for that. But being in a position that forced me to put her first has dragged my progress back by about a billion steps, no matter how much I've tried to logic myself through it.

And I'm sitting here telling myself that I have NO RIGHT to tell my freelance coordinator that I'm going to need a break and to take fewer articles for a couple of weeks. When people take vacations/sick days all the time. But my gut is screaming at me that *I* don't get to do that, who am I to think that I deserve that, why do I think I have it so bad that I need time off?

I want my brain to be better.


Steph L. - Jun 13, 2017 8:46:27 am PDT #550 of 8185
the hardest to learn / was the least complicated

I'm even skipping improv tonight, because I cannot be around people. It's all too much.


Connie Neil - Jun 13, 2017 8:48:10 am PDT #551 of 8185
brillig

I think if you say the words "My mom had open-heart surgery a few days ago," any decent human being would go, "Say no more, take the time you need" without any further explanation necessary.


Steph L. - Jun 13, 2017 8:51:18 am PDT #552 of 8185
the hardest to learn / was the least complicated

They know about that, and I already took less work** last week so I could be at the hospital.

**"Less work" is a goddamn lie. They ask us how many articles we want to edit for the coming week; 4-5 articles is standard. I asked for 3, and they said absolutely, you need to be with your mom. But the 3 articles are so much longer than normal that they're actually a total of 35 hours of work, so it didn't fucking help a goddamn thing. So when I ask for fewer articles for the next 2 weeks, I'm going to have to mention the length of the articles, which I didn't think I'd need to say. Sure, if you give me fewer articles but they're substantially longer, it's still the same amount of work, you asses.


Laura - Jun 13, 2017 8:53:02 am PDT #553 of 8185
Our wings are not tired.

Well, if there were more pie charts and fewer words it would be much easier. Maybe you could suggest that??


Trudy Booth - Jun 13, 2017 8:53:29 am PDT #554 of 8185
Greece's financial crisis threatens to take down all of Western civilization - a civilization they themselves founded. A rather tragic irony - which is something they also invented. - Jon Stewart

That's some bullshit there, Teppy.


Steph L. - Jun 13, 2017 8:55:15 am PDT #555 of 8185
the hardest to learn / was the least complicated

Well, I'm just taking it as a lesson that I need to say "Only 2 articles, please, and not substantially longer than average, so that my time worked is actually reduced." Fool me once.


Atropa - Jun 13, 2017 9:22:54 am PDT #556 of 8185
The artist formerly associated with cupcakes.

while still trying to come to grips with the idea that everything she programmed in me was wrong and a lie and damaging.

So we are therapy twinsies. Yay? No, not yay.

You absolutely need to take some time for yourself. You need down time, and you DESERVE down time.


Steph L. - Jun 13, 2017 9:26:37 am PDT #557 of 8185
the hardest to learn / was the least complicated

You absolutely need to take some time for yourself. You need down time, and you DESERVE down time.

I have a draft of my email to my coordinator asking for fewer articles for a couple of weeks. It's sitting in my drafts folder, just waiting for me to send it.


Zenkitty - Jun 13, 2017 9:36:17 am PDT #558 of 8185
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.

Deep breath, Steph. Send it. It's okay.

The enormous amount of destructive programming put in me by my dysfunctional family has taken decades to excavate and chisel away. (Mixed metaphor, ahoy.) The more I pull out, the more I see how much of me it affected.