My sister, who I haven't had any contact with for a few years now, called me a week ago Saturday. I didn't pick up. She left a message reaching out. I haven't returned it.

Every contact with her seems to lead to anger and frustration at best.

I feel like a horrible person for just ignoring the call.

Sigh. Family.

You're not a horrible person. IIRC, she's behaved pretty terribly to you, and there's no reason you need to make yourself miserable, especially this time of year.

Not a horrible person. None of you are horrible people for refusing to deal with family members who are Not Good for your emotional health.

ND, you don't need anger and frustration. Or worse. Even from a sister.

I'm sorry, ND, and no you are not a horrible person. You are protecting yourself.

That sounds like an excellent holiday ritual, Fred!

totally. Hecubus, insent. This is the time of year when I kind of feel like a freak for being so single and stuff

Ugh. I hate being the only single person in a group. It keep happening because I keep being single.

Sorry meara.

E is going to be here for a few days after Xmas. And he will see his other grandma. I've tried to get an idea of when so I could ask for a day off when I could spend time with him. But the dates were just decided and the schedule is made. I might be able to work something out but I don't know.

Ive been terrible about keeping up with him but he doesn't have access to email and I haven't written letters or cards and our schedules don't work out for phone calls. For xmas I'm going to get some note cards and stamps and try to start writing to E. Maybe he will write back.

Email would be easier but my brother is still really limiting his access to screentime etc.

erika, I meant to thank you for the mail you sent me. Never fails to make me smile. It's been ... yeah, it's been wintertime, and I'll leave it at that.

But thank you. It means more than I'll ever be able to properly say.

Well, with my philosophy of "if it ain't working try something else", I spent about 90 minutes with the nutritionist yesterday. This is the nutritionist in the acupuncture center, so holistic nutrition. The only supplement that she added was a B vitamin kind of mix for energy. She hooked me up to electrodes of some kind which showed various percentages of cellular water and fat and so forth.

Plan is to get 100 oz of water a day, a lot more protein and fat, and start this modified elimination diet. Then after 28 days start adding stuff back. No gluten, no dairy or soy, no nightshades, no egg whites but yolks okay (that was an odd one, she said to HB them and sprinkle the yolks over salads or oatmeal), and weaning from coffee. Bunch of other dietary items too, like I can have my glass of wine, but no more hot pepper flakes, or jalapenos!

We agreed that Christmas was a total cheat day. Because BIL's BIL is an incredible fancy french chef and no missing out.

Since this is of course the woo woo place and not my hardass PCP the wellness plan includes walking bare foot on the earth daily (yay Florida), dry brushing, at least 3 min diaphragmatic breathing.

So, we shall see if my hormonal and metabolic balances are somewhere back to normal after a month. Stay tuned.