Buffy ,'Potential'
Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
There was a whole lot of "What did she need to hear? What would you do if you were the adult in that situation?"
That's what my therapist asks me, too, and I am *still* just SO. DAMN. RESENTFUL. that *I* have to be the one to do this. And so I can't get there.
I am also super terrified of responsibility and therefore resentful. Especially being single; even though I know partnerships can be complicated and unequal, I long sometimes for someone to at least share the load.
What did she need to hear? What would you do if you were the adult in that situation?
My therapist asking me some variation of "How would you have liked for your parents to treat you?" sends me into a DOES NOT COMPUTE frenzy and causes me to shut down.
I am also super terrified of responsibility and therefore resentful. Especially being single; even though I know partnerships can be complicated and unequal, I long sometimes for someone to at least share the load.
Same, sort of. I'm not sure I'd say I'm scared of responsibility, but it just feels like too much, a lot of the time. Like, when I've spent all day making decisions that will affect my students' lives, and then come home and post on Facebook or message friends to make stupid decisions for me, like what to have for dinner or which movie to watch, because I just need my brain to not have to do that for a while.
Drugged up and waiting for my MRI. The big machine does look pretty big.
Parenting my inner moppet, yes, thank you, Cordelia.
Once I found out I *could* be responsible for my emotional and mental reactions to outside events, and once I got over the crippling assumption of inadequacy, it became really important for me to do that job, since the people whose responsibility it was supposed to be did such an abysmal job of it. I have trouble letting go, now. Which is its own problem.
Don't be intimidated, Dana. Think of the machine as your fortress. Nothing can bother you while you're in your fortress.
Victory is mine.
Tripped over a great article about therapizing people who hear voices: the doctor team made avatars with those sound tracks and had the patients talk back. There were surprisingly good results because some people managed to tell those voices to shut up and leave town, while others were just not so scared of those omnipotent inner voices any more.
My therapist asking me some variation of "How would you have liked for your parents to treat you?" sends me into a DOES NOT COMPUTE frenzy and causes me to shut down.
Would it help to prep yourself with an answer like "Differently? But I can't think of how, give me suggestions?" Because that's what my therapist did for the times I froze.
So my Mom just called me to tell me that because of plumbing issues, Christmas won't be at my Sister's like it normally is, but instead will be at my Dad's. (My Mom and Dad are divorced, which speaks to the convoluted way that news gets distributed in my family).
I mean, I've already decided I'm not going to my Dad's on Christmas, but now I have to deal with the guilt, and how to tell my family, and how to deal with the guilt, not to mention the loneliness of being alone on Christmas.