Parenting my inner moppet, yes, thank you, Cordelia.
Once I found out I *could* be responsible for my emotional and mental reactions to outside events, and once I got over the crippling assumption of inadequacy, it became really important for me to do that job, since the people whose responsibility it was supposed to be did such an abysmal job of it. I have trouble letting go, now. Which is its own problem.
Don't be intimidated, Dana. Think of the machine as your fortress. Nothing can bother you while you're in your fortress.
Tripped over a great article about therapizing people who hear voices: the doctor team made avatars with those sound tracks and had the patients talk back. There were surprisingly good results because some people managed to tell those voices to shut up and leave town, while others were just not so scared of those omnipotent inner voices any more.
My therapist asking me some variation of "How would you have liked for your parents to treat you?" sends me into a DOES NOT COMPUTE frenzy and causes me to shut down.
Would it help to prep yourself with an answer like
"Differently? But I can't think of how, give me suggestions?"
Because that's what my therapist did for the times I froze.
So my Mom just called me to tell me that because of plumbing issues, Christmas won't be at my Sister's like it normally is, but instead will be at my Dad's. (My Mom and Dad are divorced, which speaks to the convoluted way that news gets distributed in my family).
I mean, I've already decided I'm not going to my Dad's on Christmas, but now I have to deal with the guilt, and how to tell my family, and how to deal with the guilt, not to mention the loneliness of being alone on Christmas.
Oh Tom! I wish there was a way to teleport you to Florida to be with us at Christmas.
Tom, know that Florida is always an option. Also DH and I were considering taking off on Christmas day ourselves because there are super cheap flights to New Orleans that day.
I wish I were going to be in New Orleans for Christmas, because I'd invite any of you who end up there. But even if you stay in NY, Tom, there are plenty of us who will be thinking of you, for what that's worth.
Ugh Tom, taking care of yourself is what's most important. I wish family didn't have the power to make us feel so guilty.
I'm so sorry, Tom, that sounds hard. Good for you for choosing the less bad option despite the downsides. I hope you can find more fun for yourself than you expect!
