like your title too.

What is the point of a wedding if it doesn't dredge up family drama.

Backstory - as some may remember a few years back Kelly was in a relationship with an emotional abusive dude. When she left him, she moved in with her dad because I didn't have room in my 2 bedroom apartment. That only lasted a couple of months and she was kicked out for reasons that were never fully explained at the time. Her dad's wife was a large part of the issue. Things were really bad between her and her dad after that too.

Recently, she and her dad have been healing their relationship, but every time they get together, the wife "has other plans". Kelly hasn't seen B since the blow up, her fiance has never met her. But through some complicated things, B reached out to Kelly about helping with the wedding. The text came in right as Kelly and her fiance were dealing with his father's death, so she didn't respond right away. BUT they have since exchanged a few texts about flowers for the wedding. All good, right?

Yesterday my ex contacted Kelly's fiance and asked him to help heal the relationship between Kelly and B. OY. He is willing to try and sent a message to B asking if all 4 of them could meet up for dinner to talk things out and get rid of all the he said/she said stuff that has been going on for the last few years.

Now Kelly is all confused because she thought that she and B were making progress. I'm roped in as a consulting outlet for her fiance. CJ is just shaking his head. This kind of "putting it all out on the table" needs to happen...but I also predict that either Kelly or B will flip and walk out.

The added suckitude of the situation is that it echoes what I went through with my wedding and issues with my dad's wife. Different situation and all, but lots of he said/she said, bad communication, and people not willing to compromise. My ex was in the middle of that mess and now he is in the middle of this one. Ugh.

Ugh. Some people think that a wedding is a special magical beautiful happy sparkly time that will make everyone be the best versions of themselves, on their best behavior. (I am NOT implying that you feel this way, Suzi!) But really, weddings pretty much just amplify people's character. It turns people up to 11.

I hope some kind of reconciliation can happen, though. Or some kind of smoothing the metaphorical path.

My folks loaned us their car so we could elope. I've never regretted it. Occasionally regretted not having a fancy album full of pictures to show off, but never really regretted not having a wedding. His induction date put a limit on the time, and added a touch of desperation to the romantic drama of eloping plus honeymoon. My dad helped fund the trip (to the Poconos, from NC). I have the in-laws to thank, too. If they hadn't been so adamant that we break up we'd never have thought of eloping.

ETA: I meant to say, I hope things go more smoothly for Kelly.

Ugh, Suzi. I hope they can work it out.

I've never regretted eloping either, Beverly. Any other option would have been too much drama.

Thanks KB and Scrappy!

They were trying to keep it small and drama free. Courthouse ceremony with just immediate family, party at a friend's house after, no more than 60 people-ish. So far it has been pretty smooth - this is the first hiccup, but dang, it is a big hiccup.

I wanted to go a courthouse. His mother threw an epic fit. It was kind of fun to walk down an "aisle" I guess, but I just wanted it legal.

Excellent name and idea for the blog, sj.

I did the wedding with walking down the aisle and the whole shebang 3 times! There was surely drama around somewhere, but I was a relaxed bride for the most part.

I'm sorry for what Kelly is going through here. If there is any way to convince all sides to start fresh and forget any he/she said stuff ever happened I would try for that. Being non-confrontational by nature I prefer clean slate to putting it all on the table.

Love the name and subject for the blog sj.

Have no advice for Kelly - I guess anytime for this sort of reconciliation is both good and also fraught with possible traps.

I have been having a blah day. Doesn't help that it was a gray overcast day with extra cold wind and some bits of precip of some sort. Overslept, left my Nook at my counselor's office, and feeling sick of everything.

I went to the doctor, and I once again have bronchitis. He gave me a bunch of prescriptions, but sent them electronically to CVS (except for the codeine cough syrup one), and the CVS pharmacy closed about ten minutes before I got there. So, I'll get the meds tomorrow.

Also, just noticed that my apartment has no hot water, so I'll have to message the landlord about that tomorrow.