I like that mountain metaphor, KB.

Hope you're rid of the bedbug man for good, Tep.

Tim's boss must like Tim very much to do that for him.

It's a small family business, and the boss is Tim's cousin. Although that certainly doesn't have to mean that Tim's cousinboss likes him a great deal. But yes, he does. His family is, in general, exceptionally good-hearted, kind people.

I hope that it ngoes well with Tim's not son and his boss.

I took a nap amd wemt to worm amd feel better. Right now I'm working on the fudge bars.

I got a goofy card. I tried to find a sentimental card for a guy who is not a husband, father ,son or grandfather and no luck. So instead I got a card with a kitten shooting rainbows out of its eyes.

heres a trick I learned about managing emotion. My emotions are not my core. They are changeable like the weather. I think I am the mountain, moods blow past, and I am still standing when the clouds break.

That's a good visualization, Katie B.

The universe , like everyone else, is telling him to get his act together.

yes, this

Laura, Steph, it's so hard to keep those boundaries clear. I respect you both for doing it.

Bedbug not!son needs to be in AA and working the program. Not taking the shelter bed with all the services etc. shows he hasn't hit bottom, isn't willing to deal. So far, he's been right that family won't make him face his problems on his own. Hope he doesn't burn the cousinboss. You're doing all the right things, Steph.

I can't sleep, I'm in so much pain from TMJ or something about my upper retainer. Half my face is on fire. The orthodontists who made my night guard and retainer gave me an emergency appointment. Wondered if it was a stroke or heart attack as I schlepped to the East Bay, it was spreading down my neck. I told the assistant and the orthodontist that it seemed that it was the retainer, but the orthodontist wasn't having it. It didn't hurt so much when she was snapping it in and out of my mouth. Talking about it helped in the moment. So I didn't insist.

Came home, put TENS on my jaw, shoulder, massage, nodded off all eve. Tried the retainer on after brushing teeth before bed, and it was SO a dumb thing to do. Back on fire.

Gone through a couple of ice packs. Ibuprofen isn't doing much of anything. Our city just collected old meds for disposal, I know what I have. I usually forget they are here. I wonder if I can take hydrocodone APAP 5-500 after the Tylenol? Or I have this other one called celecoxib-100.

Times like this are when living alone is a drag. I don't know what to do when I'm in pain like this, like I can't think clearly, and I don't have anyone I can talk it over with.

Oh dear, Java. I hope you were able to get some sleep.

Getting my ducks in a row here. Still not totally unpacked, but coming along.

One week into big lifestyle change. We had fallen into the busy people habit of eating out way too much. In the 2 months that DH was with me in Otter Lake we probably bought pizza 20 times. The other nights we ate at the local watering hole which for veggie me meant fried cauliflower/zucchini/asparagus/eggplant/whatever most times. That devolved into DH bringing home breakfast sandwiches or pastries from his morning mountain drive. Then 3 days on the road driving home = eating out some more. By the time I got home I was at a lifetime high weight. The last day on the road he told me he wanted to join me in the pescatarian life and wanted to stop eating out completely. Boom!

I love to cook, so I have been having fun going through my recipes and have prepared our meals 3 times a day. He does the shopping from my lists because I hate that part. No actual calorie counting or anything like that. Just real food. I'll bore you with details. Breakfast = eggs and veggies for him, sometimes fake sausage, oatmeal or cereal with fruit for me. Lunch - soup and salad every day. Salad can be tuna or fruit or anything one might call salad. Soup often comes from a can or box, but I did manage a couple scratch ones. Dinner has been International night with varied cuisine. Nothing after dinner except fruit. No soda. Coffee, tea, water, wine.

tl;dr = one week yummy home cooked meals and I am down 5 pounds

Good for y'all, Laura!

I hope not!son uses this excellent opportunity to turn his life the fuck around. And I hope he appreciates how Tim is going out on a limb for him. Boy needs some mental health care for sure.

And I hope he appreciates how Tim is going out on a limb for him.

He does. He's said so, repeatedly. And he thanked me repeatedly for feeding him and letting him crash on the couch.

He knows that he fucked up huge with the DUI. I think his problem is that he wants his life to improve, but he doesn't want to put in the effort to make it happen. I think he wants things to just work out in his favor. Like, going to the men's shelter would have been too hard for him (so he says), but accepting cousinboss's generosity to stay in a motel is easy. Finding a job (and keeping it) is too hard, but when Tim comes up with a way to give him some work, he'll do it.

I want to believe that he can learn that sometimes you have to bust your ass and do the stuff that's difficult. But he's 38 years old, and I feel like it might be too late for him to learn that lesson.