I want to work close to home so I can see my kids for more than an hour a day, but I'm terrified I will never find anything that pays this well ever again, and maybe I can give my kids more in the long run by sticking it out?
You might not find anything that pays that well again. Three years later and finally on my first FTE gig since the old company, I'm not even making my starting salary from said old company, my benefits are worse, and I've probably got more stuff I'm responsible for doing.
BUT, I'm also not wondering if death would be easier than continuing to go to a toxic, soul-destroying environment. The income reduction sucks, especially because I have more expenses, but it's still better on the whole.
Am I a snob if I think I'd be giving up something important by looking for something that's just a *job* and not a career?
What do you think you'd be giving up? Also, what do you have to give up for something that's a career? Because there will be tradeoffs, for sure.
Why, at age 39, am I still completely blank about what I want to be when I grow up? If I went back to school, would that help, or would that just make me 20 years older than everyone else I'd be competing with when I got out? What would I even go back to school for? Am I having a completely normal midlife crisis, and should I just wait it out?
You're having a normal midlife crisis. That said, waiting it out doesn't seem to actually work, or at least, at 43, it hasn't worked for me yet. Throw shit at the wall, see what sticks.
Yeah, I meant to say, normal midlife crisis does not mean ignore it until it goes away. We have these for a reason. You need a change, try to make it a good one.
Buying the restaurant would be amazing! Can you borrow? Get investors?
At 63 I'm thinking that maybe I will be one of those people that finds their calling after retirement. Yes, I am very good at my job, and it has rewarded me, but not what I ever wanted to do when I grew up.
It's hard to stay at a job that makes you miserable, and especially a commute that makes you miserable. But I get why it's scary.
Warning about the restaurant, all my restauranteur friends tell me that you work crazy hours, miss out on holidays and family weekends, so that may not solve your time issues. But it may give you something to do that you love doing.
all my restauranteur friends tell me that you work crazy hours, miss out on holidays and family weekends, so that may not solve your time issues.
Totally true from everything I've heard too. But at least it would be in town...
OH! I forgot to add: think about it for another week or two, but I think taking the package is smart.
Argh. Ordered shoes at Nordstrom, after trying a pair on and liking them but not in the color they had available. ...just got the shipping confirmation and realized the dude ordered me a pair in the same color I tried on. Dude, if I wanted that I would've walked out the store with them! Called up Nordies and they're going to see if the can get the shipper to just return the package without delivering. Harrumph.
Our new couch, love seat and rug arrived this week while the DH was away in Tokyo. He got back last night and this afternoon we spent an hour or so figuring out a furniture arrangement that will work in our living room. Since the room has a tile floor (kind of a beige terrazzo), I was worried about it being cold-feeling, but the new rug really cozies it up. [link]
I am so happy to have a living room again after six weeks!
Severance is a good thing. Obviously, I am in favor of leaving sure things that are making you miserable for uncertain things that are likely to make you happier. Midlife is a perfectly cromulent time to have a crisis, and the severance gives you a reasonable financial footing in which to have it. You might check out some books like Simon Sinek's "Start With Why" to see if you can't suss out a path you might like to explore.
Yay for new furniture and rug! I loved our tile floors in the end, and they were very handy for the pup. The new house is all hardwood, and then tile in the kitchen and bathroom.
