I'm sure that leaving is the right thing to do for my own mental health and wellbeing, and if I don't leave by year-end, I miss out on a very generous severance package that would give me breathing room to find my next thing. It's just terrifying realizing that I have no idea what that next thing should be. Basically I want the job I had three years ago, but with better pay and not working for a narcissistic pathological liar.

I'm also very aware that my current mental state is largely informed by the looming 1 year anniversary of the 2016 election, and so my general outlook on life right now is that everything is hopeless and the world is falling apart around me and nothing makes sense or ever will again.

Can you spend the next few months scoping out the opportunities closer to home and see who's hiring and if it's something you could do?

Basically I want the job I had three years ago, but with better pay and not working for a narcissistic pathological liar.

Okay, that is a good place to start!

And good for you doing what's best for you even though it is terrifying. That's huge. And hard. And you are doing it. Kudos.

I think it's worth taking the severance, Jess. For one, that time alone would be great to have with the kids. As to what comes next, you'll have some time to look at possibilities, right? I think a happier mom is a better thing for everyone in the end.

I can't really speak to the election anniversary feelings, except to say that I feel them, too, and I'm just trying my best to plow on through without letting them sink me.

Jessica - you have to take care of your sanity. Job/career will come. I shifted careers almost 10 years ago and I'm loving where I ended up.

Yesterday's anxiety surge at the CT scan was a mere preview of the rest of the night. Well, when I got home, I indulged in the benefits of living in Colorado. I didn't need to go anywhere or use my brain and I needed to get some major relaxation going.

An hour later I realized Crowley had a wound on his belly that needed attention. I had to call Kelly to give us a ride to the ER vet, he ended up with a good 1 inch or so worth of stitches. Talk about another anxiety spike and knowing my brain wasn't processing things well. Kelly kept me as sane as possible.

When we got home, I slept on the couch with Crowley so he wouldn't try going up and down the stairs. Poor punkin is not liking the cone. He finally figured out how to get to his water bowl, but he barely ate any breakfast. I kept having to help him get his cone over his food bowl. He was a touch playful this morning, trying to chase his tail through the cone - I'll admit, I helped him catch it a couple of times. He isn't supposed to be "active" for two weeks - just in time for his snip, snip appointment with another week or two of trying to keep him from being a puppy. The biggest challenge will be when Jack is back on Monday and keeping the two of them from playing.

At the moment he is asleep on the ottoman, with his head on my foot. I am beyond exhausted but I can't take the day off of work. I have a couple of deadline issues that I can't put off or hand off.

Thanks guys. I know I'm not around very much these days, but it's good to know I can still pop my head in here and dump all of my anxieties onto a bunch of really smart people!

May even this is a me thing, but it feels like you are here even though you aren't posting a lot. Somehow.

Poor Crowley. I used various shorts or t-shirts on dogs to keep them off wounds better than the cone. Kind of depends on his shape and the location.

Jessica, I think leaving is the best plan. I worked countless hours building a business for my kids and neither one wants anything to do with it because Mom and Dad worked too many hours. I hear the same thing from countless professional friends. Almost none of my doctor friends have their kids following them in medicine because their parents were never home and they want nothing to do with that lifestyle. Take the severance and spend all that saved time from commuting to think of what career works for both you and your family. Look at all job postings, not just the things you have done. Think of what might be fun, butcher, baker, candle stick maker!

I've often thought that running one of the big scanning machines in a hospital would be nice. Doing useful work, it requires intelligence, little stress except for the stress of whatever condition the patient is in, you can leave it at work when you go home.

What I really want to do is buy this local restaurant and run it. I have no idea how to run or operate a restaurant (and I don't have that kind of spare capital just lying around), but I want this place to survive, I love food, and I want to work close to home.