So smart, Laura, about the role that anger sometimes plays in working through grief. Grieving is just so hard, and we make it harder on ourselves when we insist it's supposed to be done the "right" way.

There are no rules, that is for sure.

Complete tangent: I just found out (rather publicly, because I was trying to find a post) that I have been blocked on Facebook by a local celebrity-ish chef here. I am so confused, I really didn't think we had enough interaction on social media or IRL for him to even think of me at all, let alone block me on Facebook.

Everything's so weird in the New Orleans food world now - the Times-Pic/NOLA.com just published an expose 8 months in the making about 25 women bringing EEOC complaints of harassment against the John Besh Group, and John Besh himself. It's a HUGE scandal down here. One of those Weinstein-ian "open secrets," so, bad.

The chef who blocked me is related to this particular clusterfuck because he co-owns (owned) several of the Besh Group's restaurants and they have a lawsuit, and now there's this harassment thing, and... that's New Orleans food biz drama for you.

That is really odd Nora. Confusing. Seems a bit drastic with no direct conflict with him.

In the end, from that day forward it was easier. I still mourn his loss and have both wonderful and sad memories, but having that bout of absolute raw anger over the injustice of it all helped.

I concur with Burrell that anger is sometimes a necessary part of the grieving process.

Pop Psych often portrays the experience of loss and grief as this Journey To Healing, but it's often much more ragged and raw than that. More like the edges of an open wound heal but you've still got a clean shot through your heart.

I have been blocked on Facebook by a local celebrity-ish chef here

I wonder if he's blocked you because you have girl-cooties and you're a writer.

I must say, the chainmail discussion is much more courteous than the muffaletta debates.

Yeah, those got a little heated back in the day.

I wonder if he's blocked you because you have girl-cooties and you're a writer.

He may have blocked all media so that there is no way to contact him for a comment.

Maybe you're a bigger deal than you realize, Nora!

Calling them the 5 stages of grief makes it sound like a tidy little progression - first is denial, and then you finish up with that and go on to the next thing. And the reality is much more of all of them mushed together and interfering with one another or reinforcing one another and bubbling up again when you thought you weee having a totally ordinary day. Far from tidy.

Grief bites. Kelly's fiance's father is in hospice and is declining fast. Cory and his daughter went out to Arizona about a week ago while he was still fairly strong. It was a family reunion of sorts. Today someone in the family posted a vid of him singing My Way and DANG - he has an amazing crooner's voice and then the words to that song. Broke my heart and I've never met the man.

In completely separate news - new puppy and raging depression do not make for good house breaking training. But today? Today is a no poop or pee in the house day!

And he passed away last night. The pragmatic side of me is glad the waiting game is over but I think that is me trying to find the bright side of this. But I'm also heart sick for the family.