Maybe you're a bigger deal than you realize, Nora!

Calling them the 5 stages of grief makes it sound like a tidy little progression - first is denial, and then you finish up with that and go on to the next thing. And the reality is much more of all of them mushed together and interfering with one another or reinforcing one another and bubbling up again when you thought you weee having a totally ordinary day. Far from tidy.

Grief bites. Kelly's fiance's father is in hospice and is declining fast. Cory and his daughter went out to Arizona about a week ago while he was still fairly strong. It was a family reunion of sorts. Today someone in the family posted a vid of him singing My Way and DANG - he has an amazing crooner's voice and then the words to that song. Broke my heart and I've never met the man.

In completely separate news - new puppy and raging depression do not make for good house breaking training. But today? Today is a no poop or pee in the house day!

And he passed away last night. The pragmatic side of me is glad the waiting game is over but I think that is me trying to find the bright side of this. But I'm also heart sick for the family.

The waiting is the hardest part.

Mine is over now. This morning we found our cat Ellie dead, poor thing. The vet visits and subQ treatments didn't work. In life she was a fierce and bitey cat who let me know just what she thought, but she behaved like a gentle lamb throughout her illness.

She was such a jolly little soul. Sat in my lap, slept by my head, escorted me back to bed when I got up to pee in the wee hours. She liked sitting in the front yard waiting for DH to get home so she could walk him to the door.

I am so sad to lose my little friend and so glad I was brave enough to adopt an adult cat who showed up at my door when it was freezing cold. At least we know she really did appreciate having a home.

Rocktober and Halloween are no pleasure this year. I don't want the t shirt collection nor the decorations, like I did not last year when Mishka died. Bereavement sucks.

I'm sorry, Katie Bee. It is lovely that you gave her a loving home for her later years.

Wishes for peace and comfort for your extended family, SuziQ. Nice that you got to see him singing for a good way to picture him.

I'm so sorry, Suzi Q and Katie Bee.

I got an email back from the chef in questions and it's all fixed and he says he has no idea why that all happened (apparently there were a couple other names on there that shouldn't have been as well)

I was pretty sure it wasn't media since every other media person I knew hadn't been blocked, lol.

Anyway, in this time of great personal and wordwide sorrow and awfulness, I hope my chef drama was a nice tiny distraction.

It was, Nora.

Sorry about your kitty, katiebee, but honor you for giving her a lovely life.

I'm so sorry Suzi and Katie Bee

That's a relief, Nora. Glad you got it straightened out.

Suzi, I'm very sorry. Comfort and peace to his loved ones.

And Katie, you did right by her. She was loved and she knew it. We just can't do more than that, sometimes, and it sucks.

Thanks for the kind words. I took Ellie for her last ride so she can be cremated. We are past the back yard burials.

I fought back against chaos by putting the house right. I cleaned the carpet because there were a lot of pee dribbles. I have to wash every clean up towel in the collection and I don't have to go to the Laundromat again because DH replaced the door hinge on our front loader. (I am very impressed) And if the weather is uncomfortably warm again, at least that is excellent for turning damp carpet back to dry. Yay!

Sophie and Pearl have been solicitous and extra cute tonight. They know what's happened. Life goes on, if not for all of us.