Getting mental health help needs to be easier. Like you press a button and someone calls to make a home visit appointment. Or drive through therapy.

That would be amazing. I've still never been to therapy, and I think half the reason is the difficulty of making appointments and meeting someone and deciding if you like them...(the other half being money, time, and sometimes not feeling like I need it)

I have therapy tomorrow. My therapist rocks and I've been freaking out about insurance and losing access to him.

Today I've gone through a rollercoaster but every day seems like that. Went to my first day at Belks and I really liked it. It's less money but it seems like there maybe a future. And they have some limited benefits for part time people not health insurance bit 401k and dental and things like that.

One thing that surprised me about Belks is their restroom/changing room policy for trans/non binary customers and employees. Which is people have the right to use the restroom/changing room that matches their gender identity and i can't remember the whole thing about the restroom but for changing rooms it says if customers are upset or object to using a changing room because of another person's gender presentation they can be shown alternative changing room and/or it should be explained they can always purchase clothes, try them on at home, and return what doesn't fit.

Also when a customer asks about restroom or changing room locations it says to give locations of both men's and women's unless specifically asked about men's or women's and not to assume someone's gender based on their appearance .

Considering this is a chain based in the south east and prices itself on being the place for Southern women to shop I was pleasantly surprised. The information also explained the difference between gender identity and gender expression. It probably could have been better but it was cool to see.

askye, that's pretty cool about Belk's.

Suzi, I'm glad today was better. Your idea about making therapy easier deserves a fundraiser and a project manager.

I've missed my bedtime again.

Drop offs are fine. Pick ups are awful. She never wants to leave. We're home now.

Especially when she was younger, Matilda saved all her worst behavior for me when I picked her up from school. She just unloaded all her stored up complaints and resentments for a thoroughly undelightful (TM Emmett) walk home of unceasing negativity.

It was always fun to watch from the sidelines before I picked her up to see that not only was she having fun but she was well socialized with her friends and her teachers. She is, and always has been, seen very affectionately by those friends and teachers because she's very giving and thoughtful.

BUT she had to unload at the end of the day and it sucked for a while escorting the Nattering Nabob of Negativity homeward day after day.

It has nothing to do with your parenting. It is just a way that certain children cope with their stresses. It's normal and okay. It just sucks to deal with.

(This applies to much of the agita of parenting: normal and okay behavior by your children often sucks to deal with. But it's not a referendum on you.)

IANAP but it occurs to me, that means she feels safe emotionally with you, to be able to unload the negative stuff she wouldn't share with anyone else. Which sucks, but is also pretty great.

The horrible abusive mother who lives across the street lost her damn mind this morning and called the police on her 8-year-old son for throwing a rock at the car window and cracking it. I mean, that's not great behavior from a kid, but to call the police? Before they got here, she was out in the street screaming profanities and threats at him at the top of her lungs and he was understandably trying to run off. I was going to call the police (to report her behavior), and then I heard her yelling at the son that the cops were coming, so I just parked myself in front of the door to watch and make sure she didn't hurt her son, because I thought that was about to happen.

I have no idea what the outcome of the police visit was. Two cops showed up, stood by the car and talked with the mother and the boy, one cop took pictures of the car window and the rock, and then the police left and the mother piled the kids in the car and left.

She is a horror show, and I feel so sorry for those kids. When you call the police on your 8-year-old son for throwing a rock at your own car, what outcome are you hoping for? I mean, seriously. They weren't going to arrest him. If she was hoping the police would scare him into behaving, that's a shitty misuse of police personnel in this neighborhood. And she is WAY more scary than any police could be.

Also, witnessing parental abuse of their child at 8 in the morning is triggering as hell. Great way to start the day.

Zen, as a parent, that has certainly been my experience.

Slept well last night. I'm not staying the day with my shoulders in my ears, but I can definitely feel the anxiety bubbling under the surface. I took my new meds but my doc said that the Buspar well take a couple days before i feel a difference there.

I'm going to keep making lists. I used to keep a bullet journal but that went by the wayside a couple months ago (should have been a red flag). I pulled it out yesterday and I'm approaching how I update it a little differently. I think it is going to be more narrative/diary style with lists so I can track my progress out of this hole.

Completely separately, CJ's girlfriend just flew home from college last night and will be spending the day here with CJ. Crowley and I are going to spend the day, and night, at Kelly's. Which reminds me, I need to pack some PJ's and clean clothes.

^^^ Everything David said about parenting!

One thing that surprised me about Belks is their restroom/changing room policy

That is very encouraging.

I'm trying to make a decision on returning to FL. Reasons to leave this weekend: Although we would be in separate cars I would still travel with DH so joint rest stops and hotels and company along the way in case of car issues or whatever. I would be able to arrange seeing SIL in NYC and Fran in Richmond along the way. It is getting pretty cold up here and I don't have effective heating. Reasons to wait another week: The 1 year anniversary of my mother's passing is next week and I worry about my step-dad's grief level. It would be easier for me to go through the orderly process of packing and closing up the place for winter by myself unrushed.

I don't know yet, but I have to make a decision today or tomorrow.

Thanks, Hec and everyone else. ltc was horrible the rest of the day yesterday, even for her grandparents. She was also pulling at her ear and babbling in her sleep last night. So, I think yesterday was a particularly bad teething day. I do feel bad when other kids are clinging to their mothers in the morning, and mine doesn't even notice if I leave, and never wants to leave with me at the end of the day.