Thanks for being a place I can vent. It really helps.

I did not want to call and go off in front of the daughter, who is massively stressed.

Suzi, she has a hospice nurse a couple of times per week, and he's excellent. The hospice worker who is in 9-4 each day is a travesty. I end up doing her work once she's gone.

I kid you not, this woman has been coming for weeks and, I have locked the door each night, and left a key in a special place. Apparently, Friday...the first weekday I have not been available since April...this nincompoop called my friend and cried on the front step because she had forgotten how to WORK. THE. DEADBOLT. That's right. She was undone by turning a key she'd used more than a dozen times. I guess, the sick person, who weighs less than 70 lbs and can barely lift a cup, should just pop out of bed, come downstairs and save your sorry backside.

I just can't with that crap.

There really isn't anyone for supper and bedtime, besides me, when the daughter isn't here. Which, I don't mind at all. In fact, on days like today, I'd rather it was me.

How heartbreaking, and all too commonplace, to hear of this neglect. The reason I cherish my step-dad so much is that I never worried about my mother in her declining years. He doted over her 24/7 for years, patiently, lovingly. We all deserve this and too few of us have this care in life or death.

I can't figure out why using a laundry service feels more like "giving up" or being lazy

When I was in school and working I dropped my laundry at the laundromat, which was convenient and inexpensive, but they didn't do things my way, like they used hot water and hot dryers. When in Florida my beloved cleaning lady does the laundry while she cleans. And she does it right!! I have zero guilt about this and would not hesitate to have help daily if I could afford it.

My fantasy organization scenario would be to give an organized Buffista an expense paid vacation to Florida to help me unpack all the boxes of my crap that have been in storage forever when I in theory sell my house and move. I can and probably will do it myself, but hours in the day issues, and it is way easier to do it with help.

Yay for sweet foster pups!!

If I did not have so much going on, I would do this in a heartbeat, Laura. It would give me actual joy.

I've been careful to not fuss about the mess in my friend's house. No need to add stress to stress, but one day when she gave me free rein to prep the downstairs for the visit of a judge inlaw, I could not stop giggling.

In this crazy ass world bringing order grounds me.

I think I'm experiencing the other kind of foster fail - I'm not sure if I should be fostering until Crowley is a bit older. Dahlia crated up easily enough last night but has been needy as all heck this morning. Crowley keeps trying to play with her the way he plays with Jack and while she played with him last night, she is not interested this morning. Which leads me to admonishing him constantly and makes me feel like a mean dog mom.

He is still struggling with house training and the snow outside today isn't helping. I have a downstairs crate for him to be in until he figures out that he only gets free run of the house if he goes outside. But I feel horrid putting him in there and having him whine while Dahlia is so skittish. She isn't that great with going outside herself. I've spent so much time cleaning up indoor messes and I'm so flipping over it. Which, again, makes me feel like I'm being a not great dog mom.

I don't even know what I'm hoping for from each of them right now.

I did not get enough rest this weekend. Or I didn't get enough stuff done this weekend. Or possibly both.

Now I'm looking at furniture online. I need a new dresser. I found one at Ikea that looks like it should work, and it's made out of actual wood, not particle board, but buying from Ikea means that I'll need someone to help me put it together. (I've got a friend at work who offered to help with stuff like that, but his wife just had a baby last week, so I'm not going to impose.) (That reminds me, I was going to make them some food. I need to figure out something to make.)

Ikea apparently just bought Taskrabbit because people kept hiring them to put together Ikea furniture.

I would advise against an IKEA dresser. The drawers get wonky pretty quickly. I'd suggest checking Craigslist, which is a great place to get a good used one. Look for dovetailed joints on the drawers.

The good - I got 2 tickets to see P!nk next May!!!
The bad - I was trying to get 6 tickets

The good - I sent a note to the rescue saying I needed to return Dahlia, my stress levels cannot be helping her and I needed to stand up for myself.
The frustrating - the addition of Jack has actually helped the dynamic with the dogs. Crowley can run off his energy with Jack and Dahlia isn't getting stressed by Crowley.
The bad - She is not housebroken at all

The good - I sent a note to my doctor regarding my depression levels.
The frustrating - She wants me to come in for an appointment even though I was there a few weeks ago for a med check
The bad - I have to call and make an appointment and knowing her typical schedule, it will be a few weeks out.

I'm EXHAUSTED.

Hil, I was just looking at professional organizers online. And their before pictures are not nearly messy enough for me.

Today is a better day.

One person who wanted to go to Pink has changed her mind. I'm going to see if I can get 3 more when they go on general sale on Friday and even if we can't all sit together, we can all go together.

I took Dahlia back to the rescue yesterday and felt like a weight was off my shoulders. The owner of the rescue is amazing with dogs, so she is going to see what she can do to help her.

I have NOT called to make a doctor's appointment. I ended up sleeping a LOT yesterday afternoon and got over 10 hours last night and I'm feeling much better mentally right now. Rebuilding my ability to cope.