Yay for not being pregnant! That was really odd of the therapist.

Kind of in a funk. A former co-worker/friend died from a e-coli infection. She was only 54. She had worked for me for some time, then for a big medical practice customer for a few years. She had wanted to come back to work for me, but honestly I didn't hire her back because she drank way more than I was comfortable with. But I liked her, a lot, and she was so full of life and love and joy. It really sucks how life can turn on you so quickly. RIP Terry.

Oh, that's awful, Laura. So hard.

Yeah, Tep, I mean, don't actually punch your therapist, but come on, therapist.

I'm making what is certain to be a fraught journey. I'll leave tomorrow, which would have been my 24th anniversary, drive back to Arizona where I'll play the last ever gig with my former band, including my former husband. Follow-up therapy session with my former therapist in Sedona. Photoshoot in New Mexico with a former student. Convention in Denver which I am not at all prepared for. And then an overnight drive, leaving that event early, to make it back to Illinois for my friend's wedding, with the former husband again, in fact, as my plus one. Oy.

But I have to make the wedding. I was the first person she ever came out to, so it's super important I'm there. It's just going to be pushing my limits for the next two weeks straight.

And tonight I'm going to attend a concert that is put on in memory of the guy whose vision spurred my whole life, but is being done without the participation of any of my friends, his bandmates. So it's likely to be emotional, but also, I have really mixed emotions about it, because it's a sort of commercialization of someone's death, you know?

Aargh, universe.

And I still have work to get done that I'm not getting done. And there are friends in town from Arizona at the show that I'll be getting drinks with afterwards (yes, that kind of Christian, ha!) so I won't be getting anything done tonight, and will likely be starting off the drive hung over.

None of this is a good idea. I don't know what I'm even doing in here telling y'all about it, I have to get to work.

I'm happy to lend a ear/shoulder when you are in Denver, if you have any free time. Or nap instead, napping is good too.

I'm tired. Didn't sleep well. M came up and had pizza and watched FSU with me. Then I followed him down to his house and spent the night. He has the most uncomfortable pillow. I have an extra I'm going to stick in my car and have with me. We hung out with his brother and sister for awhile today and hten I came home.

I feel icky. Almost like cramps but I'm not sure and it's 12 days but who knows my body has been weird.

None of this is a good idea.

Sometimes the stuff we have to do aren't good ideas, but still have to be done. It'll suck, but you've got us around to vent to or ask for hairpats.

Laura, that's awful news. I'm so sorry.

Sometimes the stuff we have to do aren't good ideas, but still have to be done.

What Jilli said. Just make sure you are gentle and kind to yourself after the two weeks of obligations and duties are through.

Liese, tomorrow will be hard. I'm around if you need a distraction. Do what you need to do to get through the next two weeks.

None of this is a good idea. I don't know what I'm even doing in here telling y'all about it,

Maybe not, but leaning on your loved ones here is a good idea. We are here for you through the next couple absurdly difficult weeks, and after you power through them.

Sending strength, Liese. We will be here for you

I have a UTI again . Actually went to the urologist and she seemed surprised I haven't had a fever. She described my sample as "very funky looking" . So I'm going back in the low dose antibiotics.