Is the Nexium still working for you, Steph?

Yeah. It's been almost 2 weeks, and the pain is 99% gone.

I'm trying to decide whether to go into the office or work from home today. I think that work from home is winning, even though working from the office would be more productive. But first, nap.

I'm trying to decide whether to go into the office or work from home today.

The weather is lousy today. It's getting all thundery here right now. I think the storms are supposed to be kind of bad today. I vote work from home.

BKT, wishing strength and peace to your friend. What an awful thing to go through, as if she weren't already enduring enough.

Cheers, Zen. Really, it's all so much.

She's, thankfully, back to normal and has given up the patch.

I feel small saying this, but I am still a bit stung. I know it was the drug talking, but I'm wondering it is just gave her license to express her true feelings. She was just so mean.

I have to put all that out of my mind. The end is barreling down on her. It seems the tumors are winning.

In any case, she is so much better, we are just rollin' with it.

Hang in there beekaytee. Who knows for sure where the mean talk originated. I know there are times when I will have ugly thoughts which my brain immediately jumps on as being unfair/unkind/wrong. If I had no filter, I know I'd end up saying things I don't really mean. When those thoughts happen, my next thought is typically "where the heck did that come from".

Today I have WAY too much to do and not enough time and yet here I am, procrastinating with y'all. Where did my motivation go?

beekaytee, your strength to see this through for a friend is lovely to see. You are a blessing to her and to her family even at the times she is not able to say how much your hard work is appreciated.

Steph, I'm glad the Nexium is helping, regardless of what tests you end up enduring.

I know it was the drug talking, but I'm wondering it is just gave her license to express her true feelings. She was just so mean.

That is a really awful occurrence way too often with serious illness. Yes, it does hurt tremendously. Staff made me leave when DH was like that and wouldn't let me come back until the psychosis passed. It is brutal. No, they are not true feelings. It is illness.

Steph, I'm glad the Nexium is helping

Yes! Lack of stabby pain is a very good thing.

I know it was the drug talking, but I'm wondering it is just gave her license to express her true feelings.

My beloved had bouts of this frequently, but I don't know if it was drugs. It turned out he actually had bouts of sleepwalking, and the man that came out was nasty. It was so out of place for the way he normally was that I never called him on it, and he nearly broke into tears the one time I told him what he'd said.

The brain is a freaky place.

Endoscopy/colonoscopy

Called by the OR staff, doctor, and anesthesiologist at my procedure, a "spinner." "Oh, you're in for a spinner."

I don't know, it sort of made it sound fun for me, like a fair ride, or something.

Because of my anxiety and a couple of other things, my doc admitted me and there was an anesthesiologist--who was very cool. He started explaining stuff, finding synonyms for medical jargon, and I straight-faced, "I know what it is. We're rewatching ER." "Oh, right! Cutting edge early nineties tech!"

I had a little anti-anxiety drip in my IV, was positioned on my side, and simply fell asleep. I woke up feeling like I'd had a fabulous nap, and had very little pain, recovered in a day or so.

I'd do the procedure that way a couple of times a month, just for the terrific nap. But you'd have to chase me down with a net for the prep beforehand.

Anyway, "spinner." Heh.

I hope all goes well for you, Steph, and you find out what's going on, and it's a simple and effective fix.

BKT, I have nothing but admiration for you, for doing this with your friend. My dad had some nasty things to say about me while they were trying to regulate his dementia meds, and there was enough fact and truth in them to change my perception of the relationship we'd always had, my opinion of him. The relationship changed, because he was no longer lucid or really responsive, thanks to the drugs. But I have an idea how that felt, and I'm very sorry.

You're amazing. I wish her ease, and comfort, both of which are helped by your constance and presence. And I wish you strength.