Excellent -- thanks!

All the ~ma and hugs and righteous support to all!

It's been a week. I finally made the decision about moving but it took a lot of stress and energy and though I have only 42 days till it's over, I;m taking the day because I'm exhausted.

I put a lot of this on myself. I fear making decisions because so many have turned out badly. and I fear wanting things to go a certain way, because when they do it often turns out disappointing.

But I have to move and the money has been put down and the lease signed. It's only a 6 month lease so if it turns out badly, I can move again. Now I just have to get rid of most of my possessions. no biggie.

I need to make lists and change addresses and inform the current management that I'm moving. but today, I'm doing laundry and chilling.

He did get a few nights of sleep out of it, it stepped on the nausea, and he did not go back to being a pot head when he got better.

Cheers, Katrina. She's tried a tincture of cannabis oil. It helps a little.

I'm actually kind of crushed. The Scopolamine that she started taking on Thursday has caused her to lose her mind, which was never been an issue before. She is putting her physical safety at risk, hallucinating, losing thoughts and, in general, making it pretty hard to care for her.

I tried to gently recommend rethinking the drug and being more careful...seriously, last night I nearly had a heart attack myself and did not sleep all night for fear she would tumble down the stairs in the night.

It turned into a huge, paranoid fight...a noted side effect of the drug. Jesus. I want to throttle who ever gave it to her...then, she tells me the doc had serious reservations. BUT, she won't be told, so now I fear that bridge is burned.

I don't know how she will get along without an advocate on the days her daughter is not here, which is most of them.

I'm sad and fearful for her.

eta: Now she won't let me help her get to bed. If you've got prayers, vibes, ma, etc. please send them B's way.

I'm sorry about all the ailments plaguing the Bitches and their friends and loved ones.

I'm feeling (once again) woefully inadequate to work in the industry I write about. I am at a beer festival in Atlanta, and although I did try to do an after-event thing last night, I couldn't do so today. I just prefer hanging in my hotel room by myself. Also, the beer festival itself was somewhat weird - I'm feeling increasingly uncomfortable in such white spaces, especially white male spaces.

So, I'm pretty much hating on myself, because I'm alone (Tom is home) and feeling like my self-care maneuver is actually laziness/stupidity. Ugh, sorry. I just needed to vent a little bit.

{{Bitches}} Sending an abundance of love. I'm sorry that you are dealing with so much.

Nora, I am not sure this is something to feel bad about. If you can get the info you need during the actual event, you can skip the after event. MY DH usually skips the gathering/party/drinkfest from auto launches. He got back to his room and writes or watches ESPN. He doesn't seem to feel at all bad about it--saying getting drunk with the people he writes about is never a good idea.

Scrappy = wise!

I spoke to the daughter of dying Friend this morning, with my heart in my throat. It could mean the end of the friendship but I could not, in good conscience, keep my promise to keep quiet.

Despite being dismissed last night, I went this morning to get my friend out of bed. Thank God I did.

In addition to the Scopolamine, she is taking Reglan and, dear lord, I've never seen such aggressive, drug-induced tremors. Affected all her limbs. If she's tried to get up alone...I shudder to think.

She has agreed to take off the Scopolamine, and I was gratified that the daughter noticed changes over the phone that validated my in-person experience.

I don't know what will happen from here, but I've done my best.

Drugs can be miracles, and sometimes, the price to pay for them is just too much.

Bonny, was the scopolamine for nausea? Because there are other anti-nausea drugs, and they might have a better side effect profile. (Although she may have already tried them and I missed that.)

Steph, interestingly, the Scopolamine is for excess secretions.

She's had the top of her stomach removed and two stents put in to keep the esophagus open enough to get some food in. (tumors pressing against the esophagus)

She was spitting into tissues pretty much non-stop. The drug worked for that, but she also has a lot of reflux (of course) and nausea that was not mitigated.

I wonder if the Reglan wouldn't be so bad on its own, but I'm not sure she is strong enough to test that theory.