So my day was really nice. there will be future dates. Not sure what kind of things. It's kind of hard because there's not much to do here in Brevard and it would be nice if we could split the trips back and forth but the drive down the mountain wasn't that bad.

Epic, a lemonade slurpee sounds like a perfect prescription. I hope it gave you strength.

Java, what an absolute pain to have to deal with such toxicity. Clearing your mind can only help. I hope it gives you ease.

I've used the spiral analogy for years, particularly to illustrate 'non-virtuous cycles' (which I prefer over 'vicious) vs. moving up the personal-evolutionary ladder. While I love a good circle, the truth is, when you are doing the work, you are never actually treading the same ground twice. It may feel you are not getting anywhere, but even the effort alone is progress.

The memory discussion really hits home for me. Absolutely every professional I worked with on my own path assured me that I have repressed memories. All I can do is guffaw.

HAHA. You know what? I remember plenty.

Also? Memory is so incredibly subjective that, once I discovered that absolutely everyone in my family, near and far, lied out their backsides, I figured it didn't matter anymore what was 'real.'

Like Teppy, prior to that, I was a rigorous keeper of the 'facts' and correct chronologies, etc.

At this point, at least where my family history is concerned, the truth is what I decide it is. In the end, what does it really matter? He was the monster at hand, she was the monster in absentia. I survived.

I adapted the Dune 'Fear is the mind killer' quote for myself.

Toxic lies are the mind killer...blah, blah...when the toxic lies are gone, there will be only me. And I will be good and goddamned if I will let their rubbish take me down.

Still, I agree about the effect of trauma on memory.

One of my old boyfriends suffered from a terrible, chronic disease, starting in childhood. It meant he spent a month of his senior year in hospital.

He told me his parents never came to see him. He was 18, so not a child.

He really, truly believed that he spent that entire month alone, but his mother visited every morning before work and his father spent every evening with him. He just could not remember anything but his fear and isolation. The poor thing.

Love to you, beekaytee. You are amazing.

Painsomnia. Have tried usual solutions without relief and resorted to a leftover Percocet. Tried 1/2 first, which usually knocks out the pain quickly. Nothing, so I've taken another half. Blah. I'm using my heating pad, too, but I have to be careful because last time I fell asleep on it and gave myself a second degree burn on my stomach. Two vertebrae have popped back into place (neck and mid-back) but there's still something funky going on that is affected my left shoulder, jaw, and reverberating down to my left foot.

Also, The Boy is waffling on going with me tomorrow, which is making me cranky. All signs point to In It For The Sexytimes, which is fun but not what I'm after long term.

Love you too, smonster.

I'm so sorry to hear about the pain. And, I'm totally with you on the heating pad caution. I have fallen asleep on one, entirely too many times. Can't somebody make one with a timer?

I hope the Percocet helps, and I'm wafting comfort and rest ~ma your way. Sweet dreams, too.

Oh my god, that sounds awful! The reverberating part, I mean.

Yikes. Here, have ALL the calming and easing ~ma. I hope it lets up by tomorrow.

Last week, I spent several days not being able to turn my head more than about 5 degrees in either direction. MUCH more painful than a simple crick from sleeping wrong.

I broke down and paid for an excellent massage after tons of otc pain relievers failed me. It worked.

This week, I'm considering taking curcumin regularly. I've had so many tendon issues over the last couple of years. I'm blaming menopause and looking for a solution. Turmeric really helped with my last bout of trigger finger, so I'm thinking preemptive anti-inflammatories are in order.

Wishing rest, peace, and easing of pain to all my lovelies here.

I had to work until 11:15pm, and have to be back before 9am because it's time for the county to do their annual licensing inspection. Then I can come home for a nap and go back to work until 11:15 again.

I did finally get to sleep and feel better this morning.

Oh man, not being able to turn your head is the worst. I'm glad you finally got some relief.

WindSparrow, that sounds utterly exhausting. I hope the inspection goes smoothly and that you have the highest quality of nap possible.

Pain sucks the big one. I have done something to my right hip. Over the last few days the pain has come and gone. Last night I saw Spiderman and coming out of the theater, my hip went into pain mode and it hasn't released since. I tried to do some stretches when I work up this morning. Going downstairs this morning to grab breakfast was slow going with oodles of pain.

I'm trying to work and Kelly is going to come over this afternoon to see if she can PT it. If not, I'm calling my doc cause this is has got to go. I'm near tears any time I have to move.

Aw, Suzi, that sucks. I hope Kelly can fix it.

There's still something not quite right with my neck, but hopefully it will settle out when I'm in the car.

Sent off an unfinished version of my business plan for review. Still have to write the executive summary and do some more number stuff. Now I'm off to look at used cars.

Hugs to everyone who wants them. I've been offline, dealing with my own fun mentsl health issues (and also my mother's visit), but I just caught up. And now I have to go fetch the toddler.