Sorry, Liese, that sounds very difficult.

Sorry also, msbelle, that sounds like a lousy day.

Well, I fucked up yet again. I'm working from home, and my wife was at a function this morning. She wanted me to pick up our daughter at one and I have a meeting at one thirty. I stupidly assumed that meant she'd wouldn't be home before one so I went out about noon to get pick up some lunch. She called me while I was in my car so I pulled over to talk. She wanted to do lunch together so I agreed. Then she asked me to look up a menu and I said I couldn't at the moment because I was in my car. She asked why I was in the car, so I said I had started to go out to get some lunch and pulled over to answer her. Not she is pretty pissed at me. I should have contacted her before going to get some lunch. Why do I keep doing stupid stuff like this? Maybe I'm just a jerk. I'm pretty much a failure in every other way. Think I'm just going to skip lunch today, I'm not hungry anymore.

Yes, the number of people making terrible decisions at United is apparently very high. No one had a better solution for their self made problem?

Gud, you are not a jerk. Period. Also, a grown ass adult that can get in his car and go get a bite to eat without having to feel bad about it. Ever.

I should have contacted her before going to get some lunch. Why do I keep doing stupid stuff like this? Maybe I'm just a jerk. I'm pretty much a failure in every other way.

Maybe

No.

No.

No.

The only one responsible for your wife's feelings is her. The only one responsible for your wife's actions is her.

I don't know. It seems pretty inconsiderate not to check with my wife before I do something for myself for lunch in case she wants to do something together. I always check when she's home, so why didn't I think of it when she's out. I though she'd be home too late, but I only assumed that.

I should have contacted her before going to get some lunch. Why do I keep doing stupid stuff like this?

You're not expected to be a mind-reader. Your wife is being a jerk.

It seems pretty inconsiderate not to check with my wife before I do something for myself for lunch in case she wants to do something together.

Yeah, no. She's a grown-ass adult and can get lunch for herself. I could understand if she were disappointed that something she wanted -- but *didn't* bother conveying to you -- didn't happen. But her reaction is entirely out of proportion and you were not being inconsiderate. Because, honestly? It's just one frigging meal.

Liese, I'm sorry. My best wishes to both you and Dave, and Seabiscuit. I hope this all goes as smoothly and painlessly as possible.

Gud, seriously.That was neither stupid nor a fuck up. Your wife is mad because you didn't read her mind to know what she didn't tell you? And you could've gone to lunch with her anyway. So she's mad that you headed out to lunch without checking with her first. That's ridiculous, and frankly it's abusive of her to make you feel so bad over nothing.

SHE WAS AT A FUNCTION! You yourself said you did not think she would be home before 1. In fact, if she was to be home before 1, why would you have the get your daughter? You have a commitment at 1:30, doesn't that make time awfully tight for you? You both made assumptions. She chose to get pissy about you not reading her mind, that is on her.

Now I might feel bad if I had already gone out for lunch when DH unexpectedly came home for lunch. But he wouldn't get mad, and I wouldn't beat myself up about it. It happens. Next time you can check if she is interested in lunch, or not. Either way shouldn't result in bad feelings.