I don't know. It seems pretty inconsiderate not to check with my wife before I do something for myself for lunch in case she wants to do something together. I always check when she's home, so why didn't I think of it when she's out. I though she'd be home too late, but I only assumed that.

I should have contacted her before going to get some lunch. Why do I keep doing stupid stuff like this?

You're not expected to be a mind-reader. Your wife is being a jerk.

It seems pretty inconsiderate not to check with my wife before I do something for myself for lunch in case she wants to do something together.

Yeah, no. She's a grown-ass adult and can get lunch for herself. I could understand if she were disappointed that something she wanted -- but *didn't* bother conveying to you -- didn't happen. But her reaction is entirely out of proportion and you were not being inconsiderate. Because, honestly? It's just one frigging meal.

Liese, I'm sorry. My best wishes to both you and Dave, and Seabiscuit. I hope this all goes as smoothly and painlessly as possible.

Gud, seriously.That was neither stupid nor a fuck up. Your wife is mad because you didn't read her mind to know what she didn't tell you? And you could've gone to lunch with her anyway. So she's mad that you headed out to lunch without checking with her first. That's ridiculous, and frankly it's abusive of her to make you feel so bad over nothing.

SHE WAS AT A FUNCTION! You yourself said you did not think she would be home before 1. In fact, if she was to be home before 1, why would you have the get your daughter? You have a commitment at 1:30, doesn't that make time awfully tight for you? You both made assumptions. She chose to get pissy about you not reading her mind, that is on her.

Now I might feel bad if I had already gone out for lunch when DH unexpectedly came home for lunch. But he wouldn't get mad, and I wouldn't beat myself up about it. It happens. Next time you can check if she is interested in lunch, or not. Either way shouldn't result in bad feelings.

Yes. In this situation, "Aw, I'd hoped we could have lunch together" might be an appropriate response, getting mad at you for not guessing she'd want to is not. It's crazy.

Yeah, no. She's a grown-ass adult and can get lunch for herself. I could understand if she were disappointed that something she wanted -- but *didn't* bother conveying to you -- didn't happen. But her reaction is entirely out of proportion and you were not being inconsiderate. Because, honestly? It's just one frigging meal.

THIS!!!!!

Gud, what everyone else said. Your wife was perfectly capable of suggesting ahead of time that you have lunch together. Disappointment that you couldn't spend time together is okay. Treating you like you're some kind of idiot for not reading her mind is not okay.

And if you have time, treat yourself to something. Even if it's just sitting outside in the sun for a few minutes (weather permitting).

Re-read what you did over the weekend and bask in your resourcefulness and drive, and in our awe and respect in the face of same.