Much health-ma to everyone.

I need to do laundry and vacuum, but instead I'm crashed on the couch watching Vividcon vids.

[link]

Good thing you didn't get there, then, Sue?

Definitely trust your gut, Sophia, and why not also talk to someone! (I should try finding a therapist again after the one person I emailed never wrote back.)

Yay bonus, Theo!

Good thing you didn't get there, then, Sue?

Seriously, I was a just a couple of hours away from leaving.

Sue, so much ~ma to you and your poor dad.

Sophia, that is a whole lot to parse on your own, but I think going with your gut is the best call. Finding someone to talk it out with would also be a good thing, though.

Thanks guys. The reason I am a little reluctant about therapy is that my last bout with therapy, in my twenties, about this same issue led to a horrible, horrible confrontation with my mother which had pretty long lasting consequences. This family seem like nice, high class, pretty, rich golf playing people who would probably think I am weird and cause my mother to go off the deep end. So I probably won't listen to a therapist about talking to my mother, because it was really bad the last time. My BFF is just imagining how badly my mother will be hurt if I don't tell her and she found out. QaI think I might be able to say I met an unknown relative on 23 and me and we would meet, but I think it would make her crazy that I already investigated and knew they existed before our match. Not my particular match person (my niece), but I knew the potential brothers and sisters and the parts of their life that I could google because they are fairly locally prominent. So even if I tell my mother now, I have been sitting on this for years!

Poor Sue dad! Much ma to you!

~ma for your dad, Sue.

Hope Miss Erzabet is doing all right.

Sophia, that's a tough place to be in. You've got to go with your gut in a situation like that, I think.

and her expectation when she had me was that she would have someone who loved her unconditionally for forever and be very close.

Precisely why I was adopted when mine couldn't reproduce. Didn't take. Gave her a poodle. She dressed it up in little poufy skirts and hairbows and sweaters, and was sublimely happy.

Not...that I'm suggesting you get your mom a poodle, Sophia, you just reminded me what living with her pre-poodle was like. And yes, yes, *yes*, listen to your own atoms about this.

Yay, Theo!

I hope the move goes smoothly for your dad, Sue, and continued ~ma.

May all be well while you guys are in Geneva, Sparky!

I hope your afternoon was fun, Sheryl.

Sophia I did not intend to make light of your situation. My own mom had an unhealthily close relationship with her mom--the stepfather was abusive toward her mom and my Mom was terrified most of her childhood and clung to her mother. She expected the same behavior from me. The thing is, she raised me as infant and toddler to feel very safe and secure. I was fairly independent and adventurous, and she couldn't understand why I wanted to go play over there rather than sit on her feet and clutch her dress hem. She did a good job, at least until I hit adolescence. But she seemed to feel it had backfired on her.

I have such perspective on my parents now, and can cut them so much slack for things I hated and resented them for when I was young. I wish I could tell them so, now.

Ithanks Beverly! I didn't think you were making light of the situation. I have a similar relationship in that my mom really gave me a great childhood, and then didn't know what to do with adolescent me. I had this really horrible year in eighth/ninth grade where I couldn't bear my friends and I let them all go. I was so sad. My mom said it was the best year of her life because I wanted to do everything with her. And I am vaguely angry about that, but really I just want to navigate this without hurting her, because she did the best she could