Ithanks Beverly! I didn't think you were making light of the situation. I have a similar relationship in that my mom really gave me a great childhood, and then didn't know what to do with adolescent me. I had this really horrible year in eighth/ninth grade where I couldn't bear my friends and I let them all go. I was so sad. My mom said it was the best year of her life because I wanted to do everything with her. And I am vaguely angry about that, but really I just want to navigate this without hurting her, because she did the best she could

I think my mother was similar, she really clung to her mom because her dad was crazy. The unexpected part was that I really was close with her dad because he had had treatment for his mental health issues by the time I was a toddler and we were each other's favorites!

So I probably won't listen to a therapist about talking to my mother, because it was really bad the last time.

You are the best authority on your own life, so I think going with your gut on that choice is smart. And therapy would probably be good for you to talk through all the other stuff. You can just set a boundary about not telling your mom.

Sophia, I know of a few Facebook groups where people who are meeting previously unknown family (mostly ones they've found through DNA testing) can discuss the issues that it brings up, if you want to talk to people going through similar things. (The one I know best is DD Social, but I know there are a few others, too.)

Thanks Steph. My whole last therapy experience went really badly- her husband had just died unexpectedly and I think possibly she needed therapy. She used to fall asleep when I was talking. So I picked myself up and thought... I don't need this. The EAP folks come strongly recommended by a coworker, and also I edited their videos for a course of ours and liked them

Hil, The Facebook groups are a great suggestion. I am so much better at processing things in text and away from actual people I might hurt.

Oh my. A therapist that falls asleep while you are talking does not sound...adequate. For anyone.

I so completely failed to do anything today (besides read) that it almost wraps around to feeling like an accomplishment.

Up early for a demo meeting that I am not really paying attention to.

Today is the first day of classes here, and my fellow faculty members have all forgotten their passwords into the class recording system. Someday, somewhere a faculty member will think of this the day before their first class, not 5 minutes before. But I probably won't live to see it.

I brought doughnuts for my staff to help them get through the first round of panicked calls for help from the classrooms.

Our students are moving in this week. I received the first not-so-panicked request to set up a special course thing for a favorite instructor. He actually made the request a couple of days before his first class, which is why he's the favorite. The others will follow the way of their people and call as the students are trickling into the classroom.

My mom was not clingy. Quite the opposite—I don't think she liked small children very much, and, while she was never abusive, she did her best to foster independence early and often. Then, once I was a young adult, she wanted to spend more time with me. By then I'd taken her lessons to heart and was like, "Wait, what? We don't . . . do that, do we?" Cue the guilt trips and whatnot. It was only recently that I had a lightbulb moment where I realized I did a lot more for and spent a lot more time with my parents than they ever did with their own. So as daughters go, I really didn't suck.

In other news, I made a really good quiche yesterday. The eggs and milk turned out silky, the onions were buttery soft, the chard was cooked perfectly, and the cheese suffused the whole thing with salty richness. I can never make quiche again because it will almost certainly never be this good a second time.

Congratulations on the quiche!

This whole "being awake" thing, I'm just not that into it.