The worst thing about being away for a while and coming back is feeling the need to at least skim all the posts I missed and there's always like 700 of them.
Dana, congrats to your DH on the job!
nothing fits him. he has unrealistic expectations and illusions of grandeur. He has never studied or worked hard. He blows through money. He has a car not starting right now and refuses to even help me try to figure out what it might be. He does nothing to help around the house, only sees his grandparents when I force him to and bucks any and all attempts to prep him for what is awaiting him in 12 months.
msbelle, this sounds exactly like my BFF's daughter, except she's almost 21 years old. Her mother is about to go insane. And yeah, I think you've got to fix that car yourself, if you want him to ever leave the house on his own again. Especially since he can grumble that it's not even HIS car.
Gud, your wife is a *counselor*? Holy crap. Maybe her business isn't taking off because she's really bad at being empathetic. I hope you will be able to go to therapy and learn to take care of yourself. You deserve to be loved and treated well. You really do. I suspect you're thinking, 'Well, they're kind but they don't really know me, my wife does' -- and I am here to tell you, we see who you are by what you do, and we see who she is by what she does. "By their actions you shall know them", right? You give every bit of your energy and time to your wife and your kids, a shitty person doesn't give anyone anything. Your wife treats you badly and there is no excuse for it, not for all of this over all these years. She is the one behaving shittily, not you. I hope that therapy will be able to help you see this situation more clearly, and help you change it.
In Me news, I bought a new car. The Hyundai was good but I finally had to admit that it was too small and low for me and too hard to get into and out of, with the messed-up ankle. So I asked the saleslady at the dealer to look for a car meeting my specifications, and it only took her a week to find one. It's a light blue 2014 Chevy Equinox with only 46,000 miles on it, it's beautiful and comfortable and it's mine. His name is Blue, like the velociraptor.