Having a hard morning. Watching my dad get frailer and frailer is just agonizing. When I was a kid, and my mom was chronically ill ('70s back surgery, atypical lupus, a whole host of other issues) and in and out of the hospital sometimes for weeks at a time, he was the strong one, the healthy one, and he's always had that "let me fix everything for everyone" mentality. He actually called in sick to work for a friend of mine once.

And now he's very wobbly, and not very clear-headed, and got sent home from work today because of it (although his boss is just concerned, not being a dick). Part of it is low-T, and part of it is the meds he's been on since the gall bladder surgery, and part of it is the same shakes both his parents had as they got older, but it's breaking my heart. And my mom's, and his.

I think of them both as young -- they're 75, but look younger, and have always had a fairly youthful attitude -- but I take death calls at work every day for people in their 60s and early 70s.

Bah. Life is hard. The end.

Oh yeah, I was smoking at his age, but hiding it and my parents were too naive to look through my stuff.

I smelled like smoke because I was hanging out in the smoky Dunkin Donuts.

Actual.true statement about me as a teenager.

I'm sorry, Amy. Life is hard.

Actual.true statement about me as a teenager.

That's why it was so believable! It was totally a likely place for a teenager to hang out, and always super smoky.

Man, remember when you could smoke inside?

Aw. I went from 16 to like 20 pretending to my parents that I smelled like smoke because I was hanging out in the smoky Dunkin Donuts.

My brother and I used to go out our bedroom windows and smoke my dad's cigarettes on the porch roof. Probably started around 13. So many people smoked back then (60s) that I don't think mom noticed.

I'm sorry, Amy. Life is indeed hard.

It's really hard, Amy. I'm so sorry.

Also, it's really hard, msbelle. I'm sorry you're dealing with this--I think it's sort of universal, though. Looking back, we didn't make such a huge deal of tobacco, since we were grateful it wasn't booze or drugs. We should have pitched a fit over tobacco, because the lack of outrage propelled them into booze and drugs to get the desired parental reaction. Hindsight. But dealing with it sucks. Sending you strength.

Also also, my mom worked at RJReynolds for 24 years, my dad for 42. My smoking sort of helped support the family finances, nothing was said about it except for bringing the smell into the house on my clothes. Growing up So. Baptist, dancing and drinking were heavily forbidden. Smoking was AOK.

Sparky, thanks so much for that link! Congratulations, Sox! I can't wait till April!

Here endeth my quota of exclamation points for today.

All the talk of angel food cake yesterday prompted me to pick up a small angel food loaf cake while buying actual groceries. I have no strawberries, but I heated some full-berry strawberry preserves and poured that over a slice and added a spoonful of whipped cream cheese for breakfast this morning. NOM. I'ma try it with warm peach preserves, and marmalade, too. Even though the rest of the day will be salad and grilled chicken.

I've eschewed coffee for weeks because of an iffy tum. I had my first cup this morning, and hey, that coffee stuff is pretty damn good! (borrowing an exclamation point off tomorrow's quota)

I never smoked because Dad did and had a wheezing cough while stinking the house up with his Winstons. But if he'd been a pipe smoker like my Uncle Al I might have picked up the habit—I remember those as smelling really nice.

I love the smell of pipe tobacco! I used to sniff the packages when I worked at a service desk that sold tobacco.

I didn't smoke until I was 20 or drink until I was 21, and my mother was too naive to understand actual things, but not too naive to go through my things.

I remember when I was in college she found a half full diet coke can and a lighter on my dressing table and was convinced I was doing drugs. There were no holes in the can, and if I was smoking pot she could have smelled it, and literally nothing I could say could convince her that this was not drug paraphernalia. I think she was also concerned about the (non-aerosol) hairspray she found with it. I was just so confused.

Both my siblings started smoking in college (well, I wouldn't be surprised if my sister was an occasional/social smoker in HS). I'm so glad I didn't, I'd be shit at quitting. My parents both used to smoke before I was born, but haven't in forever.

Msbelle, at least it wasn't a BB gun from amazon, like my friend found in her son's bag? (She's doing something similar to you and moving to be near family because she's at her wits' end and I am so sad about it)

Timelies all!

Tomorrow we head off on vacation. It's actually two trips with a day at home in between.(To do laundry and such.) First trip is to a resort in the Hudson Valley. My MIL turned 75 and wanted to do a family trip. Second trip is Worldcon in San Jose. I should have wi-fi in both places to some degree, so I won't be completely off-line.