there's nobody I can count on except myself.

If you are married and you honestly believe that, please, something has to change, and it's not you.

Medical bills are the worse. My daughter gets a call they are about to turn her over to a collection agency for a bill she's never received. I just got an actual paper invoice with no information on how to pay. Managed to get to the payment website (not on the invoice) and it says there is no bill. WTF?

If you are married and you honestly believe that, please, something has to change, and it's not you.

I don't know. I feel like I'm just a lousy person and people generally don't like me. My parents always believed in letting me fight my own battles, I don't have siblings, and I've never been good at making friends so it's always just been me. Maybe when I do get down and show it my wife is right to get angry or mock me. I need to be strong.

Gud, I don't often say much to you because I don't want to pile on when everyone else already gives good advice, but please please consider finding a therapist. You should not have to be strong all the time. A spouse is someone who you should be able to show weakness to without it being used against you. Your internal monologue is skewed, and I know this because mine often is too.

I feel like I'm just a lousy person and people generally don't like me.

I feel like this too. I also feel useless and stupid and lazy and selfish. This has been my headspace for way too long and tomorrow I'm calling to set up an appointment with a therapist, whose name I've had for more than a year now. Because I can't function like this.

I invite you to do the same.

I will report back once I make the call and appointment, this will keep me accountable, because I could easily blow this off another year and get mired down in even more self-loathing. But I don't want to feel this way anymore.

I have seen a therapist in the past. The first time it left me feeling much worse about myself. A different guy seemed better but I had to stop because of financial reasons. At the moment with my wife's business still trying to get off the ground I can't really afford it anyway.

Maybe when I do get down and show it my wife is right to get angry or mock me.

That is cruel and abusive. Your wife is abusing you. Please see that. Please understand that.

You did NOTHING to cause it, and nothing to deserve it. You are being abused. Please seek help.

Two things I learned from early on are to never show weakness and there's nobody I can count on except myself. It's almost always bad when I forget it.

Oh, Gud! This is not healthy. Surely you can see how this is not how a marriage is supposed to be.

That is cruel and abusive. Your wife is abusing you. Please see that. Please understand that.

I've held this opinion for a while and have not been shy about expressing it. I don't mean to pile on, but I hope you can hear us.

It's not you. It's her. She's cruel and belittling. Also, she's lazy as fuck. She really doesn't do that much and then is incredibly mean to you.

Also, fuck her business. I hope you divorce her ass ten minutes after you get your youngest into college (or sooner!), because she is a horrible human being.

Gud, you deserve support and people who see you in terms of your humanity, not weaknesses. When you post your Philly details I will make every effort to get up there so I can tell you so in person. (Hey, Sox -- can I visit you in September, maybe?)

Gud, you are not a lousy person. Neither is Nora. Neither am I despite my many many failings. I'm sorry you don't have people in meatspace to support you when you are having a hard time. You deserve support.

I think I've seen ads for a free internet based therapy sort of thing, does anybody know anything about that?