I saw a raccoon the next block over the other morning and as my car drew close it dove into a storm drain, which had me a little worried for its well-being. I hope it knows what it's doing and Toddson's video is kind of reassuring on that point.

I feel like raccoons know what they are doing most of the time.

Timelies all!

~ma to your family, Suzi

So I'm back on the British Baking Show, and do I dare make this madness? [link] A lighter dessert would be appreciated, I think.

I have jury duty tomorrow. Maybe I'll run into the protesters for a really fucked up case going to sentencing tomorrow. Yeah, I don't trust the police here.

Ugh, sara. Smooth~ma to you?

So, we had to make the decision to put Jack down today. I'm not ready to discuss and I don't want hair pats or anything. It is still way too raw. I've had to be "the strong" one for the last 48 hours and probably more ahead. I'm exhausted and mentally fried.

Much ~ma to all.

I'm sorry, Suzi.

This week has been awful enough that a royal engagement, the Infinity War trailer, and further confirmation that Evans and Slate are making another go at things have barely dented the suck.

I'm so sorry, Suzi. You're allowed to take a break from being strong

And I'm glad you're getting answers, hippo, and mad on your behalf that it took so long

I'm so sorry, Suzi. Keeping you all in my thoughts.

Also:

And I'm glad you're getting answers, hippo, and mad on your behalf that it took so long

This.

-ma to all.

Ugh, Suzi, I'm so sorry. Being strong is totally overrated.

I'm in agreement with burrell, hippo. She's super wise.

So I'm in an overwhelmed spiral. And I mentioned all the Grace stuff on FB, but I think I'm also really struggling with facing how bad off my dad is. Everyone in this group is professional level at handling a parent in failing health so it seems whiney to complain.

The weird part for me is dealing with Grace in a nursing home was different. For lack of better description, there was hope. Since we didn't have a roadmap of what to expect, we didn't know all the things that she was losing. And she wasn't really losing things. Most of the children at Totally Kids improved and clawed their way back (except the small handful who really didn't).

But my dad is a like a sweater that someone has pulled a piece of yarn on and he is just slowly unravelling. And what feels like such a shock because I'm so naive, is how little there is left of who he was. On Thanksgiving, I stopped to say good bye as we were going to the airport . He was curled on his side asleep. I whispered "I love you" and "goodbye' and gave him a kiss and he looked at me and said my name and said "I love you too". He was there for just that moment.

I'm so sad and tired.