Jayne: Captain, can you stop her from bein' cheerful, please? Mal: I don't believe there is a power in the 'verse that can stop Kaylee from being cheerful. Sometimes you just wanna duct tape her mouth and dump her in the hold for a month.
'Serenity'
Natter 75: More Than a Million Natters Served
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, butt kicking, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
Kat - Jul 20, 2017 6:04:45 pm PDT #14144 of 30002
"I keep to a strict diet of ill-advised enthusiasm and heartfelt regret." Leigh Bardugo
aurelia - Jul 20, 2017 6:31:27 pm PDT #14145 of 30002
All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story. Tell me a story.
Gud, your wife is not a credible source. Her opinions belong in the junk folder.
beth b - Jul 20, 2017 6:52:49 pm PDT #14146 of 30002
oh joy! Oh Rapture ! I have a brain!
congrats, Scrappy
Yay, Sophia
-t - Jul 20, 2017 7:24:41 pm PDT #14147 of 30002
I am a woman of various inclinations and only some of the time are they to burn everything down in frustration
I'm sorry, Gud. That sounds like a very difficult situation. It doesn't seem from here as if you are lazy or don't do much or are bad at doing stuff.
Tres cool, sarameg!
Scrappy - Jul 20, 2017 8:33:33 pm PDT #14148 of 30002
Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
Gud, I suggest you make a poster for each member of the family and hang them on the wall. Underneath each person's name, write all the tasks they do. That way you can all actually see who does what. Maybe your son can cook once every couple of weeks, maybe your daughter adds vacuuming on Saturday before dinner to her list. Maybe your wife will see what you do and realize her expectations are off.
Consuela - Jul 20, 2017 9:05:00 pm PDT #14149 of 30002
We are Buffistas. This isn't our first apocalypse. -- Pix
Gud, you are clearly constantly busy, so busy that you don't have time for yourself. I do not understand why you accept your wife's statements this way: she is wrong.
DavidS - Jul 20, 2017 9:16:07 pm PDT #14150 of 30002
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."
I do not understand why you accept your wife's statements this way: she is wrong.
Yeah this. Your wife is the problem, Gud. Not you. She's a problematic person.
Steph L. - Jul 21, 2017 3:31:50 am PDT #14151 of 30002
this mess was yours / now your mess is mine
Gud, I hate seeing how your wife treats you. That is not okay, and you deserve much better. You children shouldn't have to see their mother emotionally abusing their father. Your wife's behavior hurts your kids as much as it hurts you.
Fred Pete - Jul 21, 2017 3:44:52 am PDT #14152 of 30002
Ann, that's a ferret.
Gud, there's a lot of good advice given already. I'd like to add -- see a counselor. Someone who can give you perspective and help you form a longer-term plan.
Jesse - Jul 21, 2017 3:55:59 am PDT #14153 of 30002
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.
Gud, I suggest you make a poster for each member of the family and hang them on the wall. Underneath each person's name, write all the tasks they do. That way you can all actually see who does what. Maybe your son can cook once every couple of weeks, maybe your daughter adds vacuuming on Saturday before dinner to her list. Maybe your wife will see what you do and realize her expectations are off.
I also wonder if that kind of thing might be helpful in starting a conversation about priorities. I'm not at all assuming this is true in your family, but I could imagine one partner caring more about neat and the other one caring more about clean, and if they don't talk about that explicitly, the one who is spending time "cleaning the house" isn't doing the stuff that the other person actually cares about and/or notices. To me that would be a sign that each person should do the bit they care about, but again, a conversation and agreement on priorities and wishes seems like a good starting place.